The Gods are Crazy
by riyaaanu
Summary: REVISED. In which everyone is a character from the Greek myth... which inevitably leads to crazy adventures and general insanity.
1. Olympus

**Foreword: **

Welome to _The Gods are Crazy_.

This is a PoT AU where everyone is a character in Greek, Roman, even Norse mythology. Expect lots of adventure, romance, drama, power abuse and general chaos and mayhem that only tennis-playing boys as powerful gods and warriors of old can bring.

I'm really fond of this story, so after two years of procrastinating, I've decided to take this up again. Most of the plot are already drafted, so I only need to sit my lazy butt down and write the dialogues.

Since many people (myself included) seems intimidated by my massive chapters and word count, I've edited, re-written, chopped, hacked and tinkered with the chapters. People who are already familiar with this story will notice several changes like 1) better grammar (hopefully) 2) shorter chapters 3) character list at the end of every chapter. Hopefully, reading will be easier this way.

With that said, I'll leave you with a movie quote from a famous mythology character: "Madness? THIS. IS. SPARTA." Haha. I'm kidding. It's actually this one:

"_Immortality_. Take it. IT'S YOURS."

.

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**Prologue.**

**Olympus**

* * *

**Ah, Olympus... Land overflowing with sweet and golden ambrosia... Of which air was fragrant with the smell roses in full bloom... Where heavenly music from harps and lutes grace immortal ears...**

**Home of the all-powerful gods.**

**And where heavenly peace reigns undisturbed...**

"GET BACK HERE, COWARD!!"

"WOMAN! Don't touch my thunderbolts--IIIEEE!!"

"Whose daughter is it this time? TELL ME!"

"NO! That wasn't me! It's some kind of mista--OWW!"

**...Or not.**

* * *

The sight of Hera whacking Zeus's head with his own thunderbolts was not an unusual sight for the residents of Olympus. The bloodcurdling screams, therefore, didn't cause as much stir as it had in the past and everyone just went on with their own business.

The Father of the Gods sat sulkily in his throne, nursing a painful bump on his head. He eyed his wife, who seemed appeased by the beating she'd inflicted on him and was now luxuriously combing her flowing hair.

Zeus pouted. Sure, all the partying and drinking and generally lazing around in paradise were all good. But after some thousand years, it became incredibly boring. Chasing after nymphs was highly entertaining, but it's not worth losing half his immortal life for. He wasn't sure if it's safe to call his wife's threat to castrate him if she found him *playing* with the nymphs again a bluff.

Cronus ass. He needed a new source of entertainment.

And as they said, 'god willed it, so it was done,' his good friend, the Titan named Prometheus appeared at his side.

"Hello, Zeus-sama," he greeted, adjusting his ever impenetrable glasses.

"Oh it's you. There's no new data for you to analyze here if that's what you're after," said Nanjiroh, still sulking.

"I'm not here to gather data. I actually have a proposal to make. It's about that thing that we've been talking about since the Creation..." Inui trailed off. He peered in closer, interested. "Is that a black eye?"

"Way to go, dataman. Shall I give you a star?" Nanjiroh grouched, touching the area gingerly.

"Interesting. Sumire-san's accuracy had increased by 43% since the time she threw the Book of Creation at your face," Inui said, swiftly scribbling on his notebook.

"Yeah, I noticed. And I wasn't even doing anything this time!" Nanjiroh flailed and accidentally pulled a muscle. He rolled in the floor in pain. "Gaaahhhh! It hurts like Hades!"

A slender eyebrow rose above the thick frames. "You have healing powers. Why not use them?"

"Eh? I do...? Cool! I didn't know I could do that." He snapped his fingers. Instantly, all his scrapes and bruises vanished. Nanjiroh rolled his shoulders in satisfaction. "That Sumire just had to hit so hard. I even swore by River Styx I'm innocent!" He paused, and added, "This time, at least."

"You have better things to do than flirt with nymphs?" Inui asked, raising an eyebrow.

Nanjiroh crossed his arms petulantly. "I'm bored out of my holy skull. I bet my darling little brothers had it better in their regions."

Inui shook his head. "Not particularly."

At that, a mischievous light sparkled in the Sky God's eyes. "You have news of them? Do tell, oh All-knowing Prometheus."

The Titan pushed his glasses up. "No need for flattery, Zeus-sama. I intend to report on their progress as the Sea God and Death God respectively anyway." Inui drew out a notebook from thin air. "Let's start with Poseidon, the Sea God. Akutsu seems content with his lot, as he can be as destructive as he wants whenever he likes. The storms and tsunamis he caused proved beneficial to the shaping of the land masses. However, he had recently filed a complaint against a number of sea creatures that had taken a great liking to him. Dolphins, to be specific. He threatened to wipe out their entire specie if they refused to stop swimming around him."

Nanjiroh laughed. "That sounds like what Jin would do."

"Indeed. It's only by Triton-kun's request that he let the dolphins live," said Inui.

"That kid's a good influence on him," said Nanjiroh approvingly. "Such a happy ball of sunshine, that Taichi. And cute too!"

"It's not good to think of Dan-kun in such perverted way. Akutsu is quite overprotective of his herald after all," Inui advised.

"Hey, I might be perv, but I'm not into kids, geez. That's just wrong." Nanjiroh looked offended. "Anyway, sounds like Jin's doing fine in his watery realm. So what about my baby brother, Hades?"

Inui conjured another notebook and leafed through it. "He's still depressed over getting the Realm of the Dead in the draw lots. But it seems he's now determined to comfort every single soul that passes in his domain. According to the reports, the Underworld has never seen happier days."

"That boy, always working too hard. He needs to get laid," sighed Nanjiroh. "Done wonders for me."

Inui shook his head. "Ootori is too innocent for that. He simply needs a companion."

"Yeah, whatever. The point is, Choutarou needs to lighten up. Tell Aphrodite to find him a good partner," Nanjiroh commanded.

"That's not possible," Inui said, looking up from his notes. "Fuji is busy right now."

"What could Syusuke be possibly doing now?" Nanjiroh asked warily. He, and probably the rest of the known Universe, was always cautious around the God of Love and Beauty. Aphrodite could be quite... *vicious* when provoked. His son's perpetually smiling face floated into his mind. Nanjiroh shuddered.

"He's having a brotherly-bonding moment with Eros-kun. It'd be wise if we stay out of his way during this time," Inui said.

They fell silent, praying for the soul of Fuji's recent victim, which apparently was his younger brother. Yuuta would definitely need to see Olympus' resident den mother Hestia, the God of the Hearth, for some serious trauma therapy. Oishi's particularly good in comforting Fuji's latest victims.

"My cute little kids are all grown up now, eh?" Nanjiroh sighed dreamily. "Been so long since I last saw them..."

"Yes. A millenium ago, I believe," Inui replied. He tilted his head curiously. "You know, you can always summon them whenever you want."

"I can?" Nanjiroh blinked then frowned. "Why do I not know these things?"

"Probably because you have thousand other powers so you lose track of them," Inui said, shrugging.

Nanjiroh pondered this carefully. "That makes sense." Then the Sky God grinned widely. "Heh, perfect. Let's have a family reunion then."

.

* * *

**Characters so far (in order of names' appearance):**  
**Prologue -** Ryuzaki Sumire (Hera), Nanjiroh Echizen (Zeus), Inui Sadaharu (Prometheus), Akutsu Jin (Poseidon), Dan Taichi (Triton), Ootori Choutarou (Hades), Fuji Syusuke (Aphrodite), Fuji Yuuta (Eros), Oishi Shuichirou (Hestia)


	2. Meet the Deities

**Chapter I.**

**Meet the Deities**

* * *

Zeus clapped his hands once and instantly, a burst of sweet-smelling fog and glittering stars, fluttering petals and shining confetti filled the hall, followed immediately by various startled voices.

"--DIE! DIEEE!! Huh...?" Ares, God of War, with a game controller in his hands, blinked. Upon realizing he was no longer in his room and battling the boss monster in the bloody battlefield of Stage 9 Round 2 with only seconds to spare, Kirihara yelled in absolute frustration. "I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SAVE THE GAME!"

"--think the cookies are done. Wait, where...?" Oishi, garbed in a frilly apron, looked around confusedly. "The Assembly Hall?"

"This is surprising naa, Eros?" Aphrodite commented, looking at ease despite appearing several miles away from his original location. But looking closely, one could see a murderous glint in his icy blue eyes. "To think we've been interrupted in our yearly brotherly-bonding time..."

His brother, however, was clutching at his heart and was hyperventilating. "Great Cronus! I'm immortal, but I thought I'm going to die..." He was secretly pleased at the chance to get away from his brother though.

"Oya, oya... this is interesting. A family gathering, I presume, courtesy of Zeus' unpredictable whim..." Athena said mildly, petting his pet owl Shakespeare perched on his shoulder. He adjusted his round glasses and smirked. "Isn't that right, Apollo?"

"It certainly is, Oshitari. It has my most awe-inspiring presence after all," the God of Truth stated, stepping beside the God of Wisdom, looking at the confusion in the hall with a raised eyebrow. "Although, even without my gift of premonition, anyone can tell this is going to be disastrous." Atobe paused upon seeing his twin Artemis, God of the Hunt at the opposite side of the room."Kaidoh, get out of there," he ordered imperiously, in his famous Insight pose. "A flying cat person is about to drop by."

The Hunter brightened up at the mention of an animal. "Cat?"

"HOI! WATCH OUT, NYA!" came a holler from above, as a blur of red, white and gold hurtled past everyone and crashed loudly into the banquet laid in the opposite side of the room.

"WHA--Fssshuuuu?!" Kaidoh leapt agilely away from the flying plates, ambrosia cups and honey jars. His bow and arrow were drawn, as he had been practicing before appearing all of a sudden in the hall. "What in Hades is going on?"

"Ow..." Golden-capped Hermes, Messenger of Olympus, emerged from the pile with a pout. "It hurts, nya..."

"BURNING! THIS SWORD IS GREAT-O!" Hephaestus, God of Fire and Workman of the Gods, shouted, waving his mallet and his newly-fashioned sword in each hand. A flying pan from Hermes' crash hit him in the head, making him drop the items. His fiery aura died out and the usual meek god blinked in surprise. "Huh? What am I doing here?"

"Calm down, Takashi." The Queen laid a hand on her son's shoulder. Her grey eyes hardened as they turned to the figure giggling silently up on his throne. "This has better be good, Nanjiroh..." Sumire said ominously.

"AHHH! My eyes!" A voice exclaimed nearby. It was Hades, with both hands shielding his eyes from the sparkling brightness of Olympus.

Oishi, being the kind god that he was, immediately lent him a pair of sunglasses. "I guess being in the Underworld lowered your tolerance for bright things."

"Thanks," Ootori said, relieved. Then he sneezed, making him sniffle sadly. "And everyone's misusing my name again."

"HOLY MOTHER OF CRA--NANJIROH!!" A voice bellowed, making the pillars tremble and the rest of the gods throw hands over their ears to save their eardrums and purity.

In the middle of the room stood Poseidon. And boy, did he look upset. Well, no one could blame him. After all, appearing in the middle of the hall in the presence of other great gods and goddess of Olympus (yes, singular feminine noun so far) soaking wet with seaweeds in hair and a large octopus wrapped around his neck like a grotesque-looking scarf was kind of really upsetting.

"It's not KIND OF upsetting! IT'S GREATLY upsetting!" Akutsu nearly burst everyone's ear drums. He glared his meanest glare at his older brother. "Prepare to die, bastard."

There was silence after that solemn declaration.

Then Nanjiroh broke out in a fit of giddy laughter. He teleported in front of Akutsu and gave him a bone-breaking hug. "That's the most heartfelt threat I received in the last century that didn't come from Sumire!" Nanjiroh exclaimed affectionately. "You should visit more often to do that!"

"Let go, ya damn freak!" Akutsu kicked his brother away and threw the octopus at him, making Kaidoh give out a strangled cry for the poor animal. Scowling fiercely at everyone and everything, the Sea God turned away. "Che. I'm leaving."

"Da-da-da-DAN! EH?! It's dark, desu!" A watery splash appeared at his side, revealing a smaller god with an overly large seaweed headband covering his eyes. He lifted it up and gasped. "Oh! I'm sorry for barging in, desu!" Dan exclaimed, seeing all the gods assembled. "But Akutsu-senpai, I just want to let you know the Waters are all under control, desu! No need to worry, desu!"

"Who's worried?" snapped Akutsu. "I'm going back. I don't want to stay here."

"Then, Akutsu-senpai is ready to make up with the whales?" cried the Underwater Herald happily.

Akutsu scowled. "No. Those fat bastards ruined my bed."

"Oh. But they really like you, desu," Dan said, disappointed. Then, he brightened up. "I'll talk to them for you, Akutsu-senpai!" With that, he took the knocked-out octopus from Nanjiroh and waved good-bye to everyone, disappearing with another watery splash.

"Cute kid," Nanjiroh said amusedly.

"Just why the Hades (Ootori sneezed again, getting teary-eyed at the abuse of his name) did you bring me here?" Akutsu growled. "This isn't another one of your stupid parties, is it?"

At the mention of parties, different reactions swept across the room.

"Dear Cronus... No!" Oishi almost fainted at the mere memory.

"T-that nightmare!" stuttered Yuuta, stumbling backwards. "Again?!"

"HOI! Did someone say party?" Eiji asked excitedly, zipping above everyone's heads. "Now?"

"Party, ahn...?" Atobe said, smirking. "I guess I have no choice but to indulge you again of my superior musical abilities."

Oshitari chuckled. "Are the Centaurs and Satyrs invited again? It's amusing watching them slay each other."

"Amusing? It's beautiful!" Kirihara declared. "I've never seen half-creatures duke it out so gruesomely!"

"Tsk, Ares-kun. Enjoying others' torment..." said Fuji disapprovingly, appearing next to Kirihara making him shriek in a manly way. "After all, they're merely fighting for my attention..."

"Y-YOU! You caused that riot?" Kirihara demanded, pointing accusingly at Fuji's face. "I thought it was Niou-senpai!"

"The God of Discord. Eris, eh?" Fuji said thoughtfully. "I think the Trickster was out playing with the Titans in their prison during that time, with all the screams I kept hearing then..."

"A-anyway, brother..." Ootori said to Nanjiroh, trying hard not to picture the conversation nearby because it's making him queasy. Yes. Even if he was the Lord of the Dead, it didn't mean that he liked all the blood, gore and depression Death often brought. "Why are we here really? I don't think it's a party, because then, this place would have been more decorated."

Nanjiroh beamed at Ootori. "Oh, Choutarou! I'm so glad you asked." Then he stopped, tilting his head in confusion. "Eh...? I actually have no idea." He turned to the only Titan in the room. "Inui?"

Inui nodded and stepped forward. "It's time we discuss the creation of a new specie to live on Earth."

Everyone frowned at him.

"Earth?" questioned everyone in chorus.

"The land below Olympus," Inui clarified.

"Land below Olympus?" everyone repeated in chorus.

"Yes..." Inui replied, sweat-dropping at how mystified everyone looked. "Has it been that long since you all went down to Earth that you've forgotten it existed?"

Everyone, except Inui, rushed to the edge of Olympus and peered down. Then, they gasped in chorus.

"How can you stay in chorus like that?" Inui asked, a bit freaked out. But no one noticed. He's Inui after all.

All he received were blank stares.

Inui cleared his throat. "Anyway, we need to create a new specie which could live in that plane so it wouldn't be a waste of real estate property. I've taken the liberty to design the specie, since I know youre all too lazy to do so." He then conjured up a large projector and a screen.

Indignant shouts of "How dare you call us lazy?!" and "You fiend!" could be heard. But all were secretly ashamed to admit that Inui was right. Everyone fell silent as they saw what was on the screen.

"..." They said collectively.

Inui smiled. "Stunned? Of course. Because it's a design of my superior--"

"Hoi? You plan on making a banana live on Earth?" asked Eiji, frowning.

"--such as never been thought of before..." Inui trailed off and stared at Eiji who was bouncing lightly on his feet. "Banana?"

"I don't think a banana can survive against the animals we already made. I mean, it's a fruit! Everyone eats fruits. They'd get eaten even before they re-produce," said Oishi worriedly.

"I think we should at least give it weapons, you know... to be able to defend itself," Taka suggested meekly.

"Saa... That works," Fuji agreed. "Also, we should give it a companion. How about making it fall in love with an apple? Their child could be called banapple or appnana or maybe George."

Yuuta stared at his brother. "Why the Hades (Ootori pleaded, "Please stop using my name like that!") would a child of a banana and an apple be called George?"

"Saa, who knows?" said Fuji happily.

"Why would an apple and a banana mate in the first place?" asked Kirihara.

"Stop questioning me," Fuji commanded, slapping Kirihara across the face.

Everyone immediately took a step away from the God of Love.

"Wait. What's all this talk about bananas?" Inui asked, understandably curious. Not confused. Inui was NEVER confused.

"So, that isn't a banana?" Kaidoh asked, waving his bow towards the screen. He wondered if they changed fruits' names during his time away in the forest.

"Of course not! That's... Oh." Inui turned and found out that the slide was indeed a picture of a banana. A very good-looking banana, yes, but a banana nonetheless. "Sorry. Here's the right one."

Everyone fell silent again, because no one wanted to ask why Inui has a picture of a banana in the first place. An eternity later (because that's SO possible when you're immortal), the youngest deity present broke the silence.

"Oookay. So, what's so special about them?" Yuuta asked.

"You didn't notice? I thought it's quite obvious," Inui said, making Yuuta feel ashamed of himself.

"Well, they look nothing like the species we made so far," Fuji commented, consoling Yuuta by hurling a knife which missed Inui's neck by centimeteres.

"They are not animals at all, I believe," Atobe stated, inspecting his manicured nails.

"This specie..." Oshitari said thoughtfully. "Did you by any chance happen to use ourselves as basis for them?"

Everyone gave Inui a look of absolute horror. Including Oshitari.

"Yes. The best model for our new specie is ourselves," Inui confirmed, pushing his glasses up smartly.

Akutsu stood up and began to leave, kicking various objects out of hs way. "Che. This is stupid."

"Does that mean you have no complaint whatsoever?" Inui called after him.

"Do whatever the Hades you like. I don't care." Poseidon disappeared with a watery splash, making everyone leap away to avoid getting wet.

"Does everyone have to use my name like that?" Ootori said sadly.

"They can't help it. Your name IS synonymous with 'hell' after all..." Oshitari said consolingly.

"That's not comforting at all!" Ootori sobbed, wiping tears from behind his sunglasses.

"Alright, so we have one vote. What about the rest of you?" Inui asked, tallying the vote in his notebook and looking at the other gods.

"They look fine to me," Oishi said, offering his home-made cookies to Yuuta.

"I certainly don't like the fact that such lowly beings are fashioned such as me," Atobe declared, turning up his nose. "They are not near perfect enough. Right, Kaoru-chan?"

"Fshuuu! Don't call me that," Kaidoh snapped at his brother, without real venom. Because despite of the fact that they're twins yet look nothing alike, they actually cared a lot for each other. The Hunter turned to Inui. "I don't care what they look like. Just make sure they don't hurt my friends in the woods."

Taka scratched his head. "They're alright... I guess."

"I agree," Yuuta voiced out his agreement. Ootori, still overwhelmed with the blatant abuse of his name, simply nodded his.

Eiji gave two thumbs up. "They look nice, nya!"

Kirihara shrugged. "As long as they end up fighting against each other, why not?"

"Why do you want everyone to fight? That's dangerous. Someone might get hurt!" Oishi said to Kirihara disappointedly. The God of the Hearth was currently distributing his cookies to the other Olympians. None of them had breakfast yet and that's not good. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day after all.

The God of War stared at Oishi. "Dude, are you serious? That's the whole point of fighting! Crushing an opponent to see who's stronger."

Oishi bit his lip uncertainly. "But fighting is ugly."

"Your face is ugly," Kirihara almost retorted, but looking at Oishi's gentle face made him change his mind. "Your cookies suck," he said instead, feeling unusually kind.

Oishi began to cry so Eiji immediately came and comforted him, because they felt in their hearts that in their lives in another universe they were Doubles partners in tennis known as the Golden Pair. Therefore they decided they should stick with each other.

"Oshitari. What do you say?" Inui prompted, turning away from the sickeningly sweet display of affection with disdain (and perhaps jealousy that he didn't have one to comfort him when he cried... not that Inui cried EVER).

Oshitari, who had been conversing with Shakespeare in low voices, looked up. "Well. Like Atobe, I feel offended that an animal is based on our image... It's degrading to think such likeness of us groveling to the ground, searching for food."

"Don't worry. They will be given intelligence superior to common animals," Inui assured. "And perhaps I could persuade you to give them some wisdom as well, Athena."

"A couple of ambrosia biscuits for Shakespeare might persuade me." Oshitari leaned back on his plushy couch, smiling amusedly.

"Done," Inui said, coming over and shaking Oshitari's hand. Then, he turned to the God of Love who was sitting nearby, a slight frown gracing the god's usual smiling face. That bothered Inui. A lot. "Well, Fuji. How about you?"

Fuji continued staring at the slide.

"Fuji?" Inui prompted, after a safe five minute interval. Another five minutes passed. "Fuji." And then, another. "Fu--"

Fuji opened his eyes, revealing Inui's doom. "Stop saying my name. It's irritating."

Inui instantly closed his mouth.

Fuji then stood up. He stood up in a way that was so graceful, so very beautiful that everyone stopped whatever they're doing just to watch him stand up.

Inui dropped his notebook, Nanjiroh choked on his ambrosia, Sumire punched Nanjiroh for his cheek, Taka fell on his chair, Kirihara's controller exploded, Yuuta promptly looked awayto be immune from his brother's charm, Oshitari swatted Shakespeare away to get a better view (to the owl's great indignation), Kaidoh began "Fshuu"ing and blushed like a ripe tomato, Ootori peeked from his sunglasses and muttered "So pretty...", Oishi and Eiji broke their hug (yes, it only ended just then), and Atobe's handheld mirror cracked from the pressure of his grip as he smirked, "Truly my rival in beauty, ahnn?"

Such was the power of the God of Love and Beauty. Then he spoke in that oh-so-melodious voice of his... "He's too short," Fuji said, before sitting in his swan-shaped couch just as gracefully as he stood.

Inui blinked, gathering his wits. "That's it?"

"Yes. Make him a bit taller, and he'll be perfect," Fuji said offhandedly, before forever ignoring Inui and began cuddling his brother instead.

"I'll... make note of that," Inui said finally, recovering from the outright dismissal. "Zeus-sama?"

Nanjiroh shrugged, chugging down golden nectar. "It's fine. Not great... but fine. I mean, they're MEN. There's no fun in--ACK!!!"

"Okay then," Inui said, completely ignoring the way the Queen bodily threw her husband across the hall. "Hera-sama, how about you?"

"It's fine," Sumire said, smiling contently as she dusted her hands. "Now, finish up so we could go frolicking away as we wish."

The other gods heartily cried their agreement.

Inui excused himself to compute the tally. Not that he needed to anyway, because it was already obvious. "With ten ayes, one nay, and one whatever... The votes had spoken." He paused, to add dramatic effects. But the gods only threw various items at him and shouted for him to hurry up.

So Inui continued. "Man will be created tomorrow."

With that announcement, everyone cheered and high-fived one another. Because they could go frolicking away freely now.

Thus, man was created.

.

* * *

**Characters so far (in order of names' appearance):**  
**Prologue -** Ryuzaki Sumire (Hera), Nanjiroh Echizen (Zeus), Inui Sadaharu (Prometheus), Akutsu Jin (Poseidon), Dan Taichi (Triton), Ootori Choutarou (Hades), Fuji Syusuke (Aphrodite), Fuji Yuuta (Eros), Oishi Shuichirou (Hestia)

**Ch. 1 -** Kirihara Akaya (Ares), Oshitari Yuushi (Athena), Atobe Keigo (Apollo), Kaidoh Kaoru (Artemis), Kikumaru Eiji (Hermes), Kawamura Takashi (Hephaestus), Niou Masaharu (Eris)


	3. Pandora's Box

**Chapter II.**

**Pandora's Box**

* * *

The first man created by the gods was named Sakaki Tarou.

Sakaki was perfect in every way, for the gods bestowed their blessings upon him. He's handsome, intelligent and talented. He lived in a great mansion overlooking a beautiful lake. His kitchen was always filled with sumptuous food prepared by nymphs, as they sang with beautiful voices to entertain him.

And of course, he had his special Box which he always carried around with him. He never opened Box. Which was just well because the gods forbidden him not to. But he never felt inclined to disobey them, because he loved Box just the way it was.

Life was good for Sakaki. But one day, he realized something.

He's sad.

Why, you ask? Because he was the only one of his kind.

Sometimes, having only Box as a companion (no matter how great a company Box was) was lacking.

Everywhere he looked there were nymphs, centaurs, satyrs, merfolk and the occasional flock of griffins flying across the sky. Groups, flocks, herds...even pairs. Plural.

And after living with it for a while, he was now determined to do something about it. Therefore, he and Box waited patiently until they heard the distinct footsteps of Prometheus, man's best friend (Yes. Before dogs were domesticated, man's best friend was Prometheus).

Taking a deep breath, Sakaki stated his request. "You goddamn ass*bleep*. Give me a b*tch now. Please."

Inui merely raised an eyebrow.

"Inui?" Sakaki prodded. Although he looked composed and collected outside, Sakaki was worried. Did Inui understand what he was trying to say?

"Sakaki?" Inui said.

"Yes?" Sakaki answered promptly.

"Where did you learn such... colourful vocabulary?" Inui asked, wondering if the man knew that some words he just said were cuss words from a language yet to be created.

"Ah. Niou told me those are the proper words to say. Why? Did I say it wrong?" asked Sakaki.

"No. You said it perfectly," replied Inui, jotting down the data. The Trickster seemed to have found a new toy. Inui couldn't help but pity humans for years to come under Niou's influence.

Sakaki beamed with happiness, or as much happiness his stern face could show.

Inui cleared his throat. "About your request, we discussed it already and decided to give you a companion."

"YAY!" Sakaki cheered in delight. But of course, he did that inwardly, because that would be too OOC for him to say that aloud.

"There's only one condition you need to follow," said Inui, adjusting his glasses. "You must NEVER EVER let her see Box. Understood?"

"What? NEVER see Box? EVER?" Sakaki said, aghast. It was madness. He always showed hsi beautiful Box to any who would pay attention.

"Yes. NEVER," Inui confirmed. "EVER."

"NEVER EVER?" Sakaki repeated in shock.

"NEVER EVER," Inui said, nodding.

"NEVER EVE--"

"Yes. Now stop saying that," Inui commanded.

"Why? Box is my special friend," Sakaki almost whined, but of course he didn't. He was too elegant and refined to whine.

"So you're refusing our gift?" Inui asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Sakaki answered quickly.

Inui snapped his notebook shut. "Tomorrow at daybreak, you'll find her by the lake."

Sakaki glanced at Box, which looked sad. His heart went out to it. "Inui, why can't--"

"Because we said so," Inui interrupted rudely.

"But then--" Sakaki tried again, but Inui beat him to it.

"Box must NEVER be seen EVER by the woman. Really, I can't stress this hard enough," Inui said. "But if you don't want a companion, fine. We'll just throw her in a recycle bin and re-create her as a banana."

"I'm sorry. I just want her to see how great a companion Box is." Sakaki hung his head in shame. "Alright. I won't let her see Box."

"Good. Well then, I'll check on you by next week," Inui said, before disappearing.

* * *

Day came quickly for Sakaki. So he immediately set off to the lake to meet his promised companion. And sure enough, there she was, sitting by the lake amongst the grass. Like him, she was perfect in every way. But she didn't have Box.

"Hi," she greeted, looking at him from head to toe.

"Hi," Sakaki greeted, because it's polite to say so.

She stood up and smiled at him. "My name is Hanamura Aoi."

"I'm Sakaki Tarou," said Sakaki. Then, out of impulse, he brought out Box. "And this is Box."

"Oh. Box is so pretty! What a masterpiece!" Hanamura squealed, clasping her hands together in delight.

"Thanks!" Sakaki said, happy that the woman could see just how PERFECT Box was.

"May I open Box?" Hanamura asked, eyes glittering and shining with pure innocence, giving birth to the proverbial 'puppy dog eyes' which no man can resist.

"Sure." Sakaki handed her Box. And thus for the first time, man fell prey to its deadly power.

Hanamura lifted Box's lid.

"Oh, look. An ominous black smoke is coming out of Box," Hanamura commented unnecessarily. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that an ominous black smoke was coming out of Box.

"Yes, and it's followed by creepy, evil winged creatures of various shapes and sizes," Sakaki remarked just as unnecessarily, as said winged creatures began flying away and creating havoc as they went.

"Oh look, there's still something in the box," said Hanamura, carefully scooping out the thing inside. "What is this thing?"

The thing shone so brightly and glittery that both of them sighed at the magnificence of it. Something was inscribed across the thing.

"It says 'HOPE'," Sakaki read the inscription, after donning on his ultra spiffy sunglasses he always carried around in his pocket. "What does that mean?"

"That's what's left to you, apparently," a voice behind them said.

Both Hanamura and Sakaki gasped dramatically before turning around. Inui stood there, his arms crossed and looking disappointed. The two humans silently agreed to have the decency to look guilty. They hung their heads in shame.

"You just released all plagues to humanity," Inui said over dramatically. "Do you realize what you just did?"

"We... just released all plagues to humanity?" Sakaki guessed intelligently.

"And I even told you to NEVER EVER let her see Box." Inui shook his head disappointedly. He took the shining thing from Hanamura, crushed it in his hands and blew the shimmering dust into the wind. "Good thing I've put in HOPE there as well. It will serve you well during the difficult times ahead."

"Why would you even put plagues inside a box in the first place?" questioned Hanamura, placing her hands on her hips.

"To prevent people like you looking into them," Inui retorted, dusting his hands.

"Well, you shouldn't have placed them in a box if you don't want people go looking at them," stated Hanamura smartly. "It makes people WANT to look at it more."

"Sakaki has never been inclined to open Box." Inui pointed out.

"That's because he's in love with it," Hanamura explained. "He likes Box the way it was so he didn't want it to change. Plus he didn't want you gods to notice their relationship so he told no one."

Inui turned to Sakaki who had been caressing Box's remains ever since he arrived. "Is this true?" he asked.

"Y-yes," admitted Sakaki before running to one corner to weep Box's demise.

Inui stepped backwards in shock. "This is illogical," he muttered, shaking his head disbelievingly as if he had just been told that his data was wrong. "My data... is wrong?"

"Well...no. Not wrong. Just insufficient," Hanamura amended, feeling guilty at Inui's obvious despair. "After all, he managed to keep his love affair with Box a secret until now, didn't he? Only a woman could notice that. You're not a woman, so you couldn't have noticed it even if it's out to bite your nose."

"That's true," agreed Inui, greatly comforted that he was not a woman nor there was anything nearby to bite his nose.

Suddenly, a thunder boomed followed swiftly by a streak of lightning. Inui was then reminded of his original purpose of visit because, come on, a god like him wouldn't bother coming down to Earth for small talk, right?

"Putting Sakaki's love affair with Box aside, I actually came to warn you two that your life will significantly be more difficult from here on, now that Box has been opened," Inui paused, looking up at the darkened sky. He frowned. "And I believe it's going to be difficult for me as well."

"That's a bit obvious isn't it, with all that plagues and creepy evil creatures flying out of the box?" Hanamura commented, raising an eyebrow.

"What's going to happen to us then?" asked Sakaki, coming back after burying Box's corpse in the ground and praying for its soul with many tears. "Will the ocean open up and drown us? Or will the sun pelt us with hot, molten rocks? Or will wild animals going to come and devour us like no tomorrow? Or maybe a pestilence and an epidemic follow us wherever we go until we are the last persons on earth? HAHAHA. That's so hilarious."

Hanamura and Inui both stared at him.

"Actually, yes. Those are to be expected," Inui stated. "Anyway if my suspicion that it will be some millennia until I can return to this place, I'll give you this as my last gift. This is called fire. Make good use of it."

Inui handed out a burning torch he brought out of nowhere to Sakaki.

"OOHH... Pretty..." said Sakaki and Hanamura, completely awed by the fire. Both reached out to touch it, but Inui slapped their hands away. They both cradled their hands and threw Inui hurt looks.

"Okay, first rule: don't touch the fire," Inui commanded, feeling a strong urge to slap someone. He resisted the urge because his time was running out and bitch slapping the humans until he was partially satisfied would take a LOT of time. "My time's short so I'll just explain how to use this and I'll be on my way."

"Why are you in danger too?" Hanamura asked curiously. "Did you do something to piss them off?"

"Well..." Inui said, scratching his chin in thought. "Other than tricking them of getting bones instead of meat for sacrificial rites, giving humans free will and superior intelligence enough to defy them, and now giving you humans fire which Zeus strictly forbidden me to do lest you discover cigarette smoking or firearm-making... I don't really think I've done anything to anger them."

"W-why... why do you care for humans that much?" Hanamura dabbed her eyes, touched by the noble deeds of Inui.

"Simple. Because creating the human species is my brainchild. Such an experiment is worth all my attention," Inui said. "Now, listen carefully. I'll explain the basic uses of fire. And no, Sakaki. NO touching the fire, unless you want to cook your own hand and eat it."

And so, Inui explained the wonders of having a fire. Suddenly, Inui stopped. His glasses glinted ominously as he said in a creepy tone, "They're here... They've come."

"LOOK OUT, NYA!"

.

* * *

**Characters so far (in order of names' appearance):**  
**Prologue -** Ryuzaki Sumire (Hera), Nanjiroh Echizen (Zeus), Inui Sadaharu (Prometheus), Akutsu Jin (Poseidon), Dan Taichi (Triton), Ootori Choutarou (Hades), Fuji Syusuke (Aphrodite), Fuji Yuuta (Eros), Oishi Shuichirou (Hestia)

**Ch. 1 -** Kirihara Akaya (Ares), Oshitari Yuushi (Athena), Atobe Keigo (Apollo), Kaidoh Kaoru (Artemis), Kikumaru Eiji (Hermes), Kawamura Takashi (Hephaestus), Niou Masaharu (Eris)

**Ch. 2** - Sakaki Tarou (first human), Hanamura Aoi (Pandora)


	4. Seizing Prometheus

**Chapter III.**

**Seizing Prometheus**

* * *

A hurtling blur of red and gold crashed into the ground nearby. The three watched as a figure emerged from the crater, whimpering in pain. Then all three of them pointed at the figure and laughed at his misfortune. When the said figure realized he was being pointed at (and laughed at), he drew himself into his fullest height (which wasn't much), and tried to strike fear into their hearts (and failed miserably).

The Messenger of the Gods didn't really have a scary countenance at all.

"You shouldn't laugh at others' pain! It's mean!" huffed Eiji indignantly, dusting off his clothes and jumping up. His winged boots kept him afloat some inches from the ground.

"Sorry," said Hanamura, but you could tell she wasn't sorry at all.

"Yeah. And you don't really strike fear into our hearts," added Sakaki bluntly, making Eiji die a little inside at how bluntly he said it.

"I suppose you're here to capture me?" Inui inquired Eiji calmly.

"Zeus-sama used the term 'seize'," Eiji said thoughtfully. "But seeing the significant difference in our heights, I think he overestimated my capacity to 'seize' anyone."

"You do understand that I won't go without fighting," Inui remarked, conjuring a very, VERY long sword from thin air. Sakaki and Hanamura had to step aside to avoid being accidentally impaled.

"Nya, Inui. We can always talk about this peacefully. We shouldn't resort to violence, nya," Eiji sighed sadly.

"No. I think we should," another voice said from behind the group. It was Athena, with Shakespeare the Owl. Oshitari raised his hand in greeting. "Hey, guys."

"Hi!" chorused everyone.

"Hoi, Oshitari!" Eiji said, glomping the god from behind (ignoring the fact that Shakespeare was thrown off his perch). "What do you mean we should resort to violence?"

The genius god merely tucked in his disgruntled pet in his arms. "Yes, it will have to resort in violence. Because Inui said he won't go without fighting."

Eiji gasped dramatically. "But Oishi says everything can be settled by talking it out peacefully! Violence is wrong, nya!"

"Violence can settle things faster," Oshitari said, shrugging.

The other three watched the argument unfolding in front of them while having some tea.

"I guess this is my cue to leave," Inui commented, taking a last sip of his tea. He sheathed his extra long sword back into nothingness before eying the teary-eyed man and woman. "Don't worry. As I've said, I'll be able to come down here on Earth after some hundred or maybe some millenium from now. You'll be dead by then of course, but I'll meet one of your descendants."

"That's to be expected, right? EVERONE is going to be our descendant," said Hanamura, blowing her nose on Sakaki's coat.

Inui twitched. The woman's snarky comments were getting on his nerves. "Take care, and don't always believe what the gods told you. They're quite... manipulative, spiteful, insecure, pretentious and significantly wicked bunch of people."

"Aren't you one of them?" asked Sakaki, sniffling slightly. "Does that mean you're also a manipulative, spiteful, insecure, pretentious and significantly wicked person?"

"I have a better upbringing than them," Inui said proudly. Several suitcases appeared beside him and a Hawaiian shirt with matching beach shorts replaced his robes. "I'm a Titan after all."

"He's not denying it," whispered Hanamura to Sakaki.

"Well then. This is goodbye," said Inui, grabbing Sakaki's super ultra spiffy sunglasses and donning it on himself (he turned around so they won't see his eyes). He began dissolving on the spot. "I'll send you postcards."

Meanwhile, the two other gods seemed to have reached an understanding.

"No! I refuse to use violence!" Eiji cried passionately. He crossed his arms stubbornly. "If you like, seize him yourself!"

"Nah... Too much effort." Oshitari smirked at Inui. "That's your cue, Ares-kun."

"GOTCHA!!" yelled Kirihara, tackling Inui from behind.

Only, Inui was no longer there. So Kirihara dove face first into the ground and totally humiliated himself to everyone present. What little remains of his ego cracked further when they pointed at him and laughed.

"Oh, Inui escaped, nya," Eiji said, stating the obvious.

"Obviously," everyone retorted.

"I know where he's going," said Oshitari, letting Shakespeare back in his usual perch on his shoulder. "He's headed for the beaches in the south."

"Darn him! How dare he go to the beaches when I'm hard at work?" complained Kirihara after he gathered the tattered pieces of his ego. He paused. "Why am I supposed to catch him again?"

"Because he committed crimes against Olympus, nya," Eiji replied.

"In other words, he bruised Dad's ego," said Oshitari.

"Oh..." Kirihara said. "Are we supposed to go after him?"

"Not WE, just you!" Eiji and Oshiari shouted, with Oshitari hitting Kirihara's head because he felt like it.

"Aww, why me?" whined Kirihara, rubbing his head. "And why did you hit me, Oshitari?"

Oshitari shrugged. "I felt like it."

"Because you're younger than we are!" Eiji declared, drawing himself up to his fullest height. It was effective this time, as Kirihara was slightly shorter than him.

"Yes, and because you're more prone to violence than us both," Oshitari explained further. "Inui won't be coming peacefully, so we need that violence."

"Hey! I'm not always violent!" Kirihara protested.

They stared at him.

"You're the God of War," Eiji pointed out.

Kirihara blinked then shrugged. "Point taken."

"Okay. Now follow Inui and seize him," Oshitari ordered.

"How am I supposed to find him? I'm not your freakin' God of GPS," snapped Kirihara.

"Um, what's GPS?" asked Sakaki, because he was tired of being quiet all the time.

"Global Positioning System!" shouted everyone who was not Sakaki.

"Geez, what an old man," Kirihara said rudely, crossing his arms. Sakaki wilted inside from the harsh words.

"Anyway," Oshitari said. "Shakespeare can lead you there. After all, he is an owl."

"What's being an owl got to do with finding Inui?" Hanamura asked because she too didn't like to be quiet anymore.

Oshitari stared at her as if she asked to be his wife. "I'm too young to marry. And not to someone like you."

"I... didn't ask to be your wife," Hanamura said, confused.

"Oh. What's that you asked?" Oshitari questioned coolly, brushing imaginary lint in his robes.

"What's being an owl got to do with finding Inui?" Hanamura repeated.

"Shakespeare attached a tracking device on Inui, proving owls' superiority over lesser beings," Oshitari answered, full of pride for his pet. Shakespeare hooted happily from his master's praise.

"Oh..." said everyone, greatly enlightened.

"So Oshitari IS the God of GPS!" Eiji exclaimed.

Oshitari posed a bad ass pose as everyone around him cheered at his coolness.

"Alright. Kirihara, you go and follow Inui. Shakespeare will lead you there. Eiji, go back to Olympus and report to Zeus that our mission is done," Oshitari directed, sitting at the seat Inui abandoned before and pouring himself a cup of tea. "The faster we get our jobs done, the sooner we can relax."

"Okay!" the younger gods cried out happily before setting out to do their duties.

Then they both paused.

Eiji frowned. "What about you?"

"What about me?" asked Oshitari, sipping his tea calmly.

"You can't simply be here to boss us about," Kirihara demanded, waving Shakespeare aside as the owl began pecking him for talking rudely to his master.

"That's precisely what I'm here for," Oshitari said. "Admit it, you two can't possibly think of this by yourselves. Inui would have travelled the world and back before you two agreed to some sort of plan."

"We are so offended by words, Oshitari," announced Kirihara, crossing his arms and scowling at Oshitari.

"That's foul, nya! You talk as if we can't think for ourselves!" cried Eiji.

Oshitari sighed and decided to use his trump card early. "I'm not saying you can't think for yourselves," he explained gently, as if talking to kids. "All I'm saying is that I'm the God of Wisdom, so you really shouldn't question me."

The two younger deities blinked. "That made sense," they said together.

"Now, hurry up and go," dismissed Oshitari, waving them away.

"I still feel we should be offended by his outright dismissal," Kirihara said to Eiji.

"Well, I don't think that matters anymore, nya," Eiji replied sadly. "He used his trump card too soon."

The two then exchanged sad looks before teleporting/flying to do their tasks, with Shakespeare continuing to peck/harass Kirihara.

Hanamura and Sakaki stared at their new companion. Actually, they should be quite uncertain what would happen to them now that their 'friend' Prometheus was about to be seized and punished for caring so much for humans. But they were thinking nothing of the sort. They were much more concerned about the sight before and around them.

"You're Athena, right?" asked Hanamura. "And you have power over owls?"

"I prefer to be called Oshitari," came the smooth reply. "And yes, owls are my birds of preference."

Sakaki decided to be blunt about it. "Where do all these blasted owls came from?" he yelled, shoving a screeching owl away from his face.

Sure enough, what was an empty field a while ago was now filled with screeching and hooting owls of various shapes and sizes. They flocked all around Oshitari who sat calmly sipping his tea. "Oh, I guess they felt I was lonely because Shakespeare left me and came to comfort me."

"Make them go away!" both humans shouted, kicking the god out of his seat.

From the ground, Oshitari sighed to himself. "Humans are too cruel..."

.

* * *

**Characters so far (in order of names' appearance:**  
**Prologue -** Ryuzaki Sumire (Hera), Nanjiroh Echizen (Zeus), Inui Sadaharu (Prometheus), Akutsu Jin (Poseidon), Dan Taichi (Triton), Ootori Choutarou (Hades), Fuji Syusuke (Aphrodite), Fuji Yuuta (Eros), Oishi Shuichirou (Hestia)

**Ch. 1 -** Kirihara Akaya (Ares), Oshitari Yuushi (Athena), Atobe Keigo (Apollo), Kaidoh Kaoru (Artemis), Kikumaru Eiji (Hermes), Kawamura Takashi (Hephaestus), Niou Masaharu (Eris)

**Ch. 2 -** Sakaki Tarou (first human), Hanamura Aoi (Pandora)


	5. The Earth

**Chapter IV.**

**The Earth**

* * *

It was a wonderful day on Earth.

The sun was shining, birds were singing, and butterflies fluttered around the fresh flowers. But what really made it wonderful was Demeter's good mood. The god was generally pleasant but his mood today was SO extraordinarily special that flowers bloom, fresh plants shoot from the ground, and fruits ripened swiftly as he passed by.

You might be wondering why Demeter was so happy. Why, he's about to visit his only child!

But of course, such a day was simply asking for trouble. In fact, it BEGGED for trouble. And so trouble came, in the form of the Earth god's own son.

Persephone scowled. "No."

Tachibana raised an eyebrow. "I haven't said anything yet."

"Seeing that a freakin' garden emerged from where you've been, you don't have to say anything." The Spring God threw his father a hard look. "Answer's NO."

"We've been through this, Ryou," Tachibana said patiently.

"I didn't agree to this!" Shishido snapped.

"You're making this hard. You've been doing this for millenias!" Tachibana said.

"My point exactly," Shishido replied testily, crossing his arms. "And I'm getting pretty damned pissed at it."

"It's just a tea party," Tachibana sighed.

"Guys don't DO tea parties. That's uncool," snapped Shishido.

"You never complained before. Why start now?" asked Tachibana.

"Since I realized I'm the only guy who goes to tea parties!" Shishido yelled angrily. "I can't believe you made me believe it's normal for a guy to attend tea parties and --Cronus' ass-- pick flowers!"

"You don't even know any other guys. So how would you know that?" Tachibana argued.

Shishido sputtered incoherently. It's true, embarrassing as it was to admit. He grew up in the company of his father's array of nymphs and other minor goddesses who resided on Earth. Finally, he said, "Dionysus."

Tachibana immediately frowned. "You've been hanging around him?"

"Well, yeah. It's not as if there's someone else. He's stupid. But I'd rather hang around him than with your nymphs," Shishido said indignantly.

Tachibana shook his head. "I don't think you should spend too much time with Dionysus."

"Why not? He's your friend," Shishido pointed out.

"I wouldn't say *friend*. More like an unwanted acquaintance," Tachibana corrected, grimacing. "He's overly energetic and a pervert. And... he's a drunkard."

"He's the freakin' God of Wine. Of course he's a drunkard," Shishido said, rolling his eyes. Tachibana was about to reply when a merry voice spoke suddenly, making him choke on his own saliva.

"Oooohhh... you're not talking about me, are you? I didn't know you'd miss me that much!" Looking up, the pair saw the God of Wine himself lounging comfortably on a branch. Sengoku raised a hand in greeting. "Yo!"

Tachibana continued choking.

The redheaded deity grinned widely. "Yeah, I know. I love you too."

Tachibana only turned purple at that.

Taking that as a response, the Wine God waved his hand nonchalantly. "Yeah, yeah... As a friend. I know. But if you meant otherwise, that can be arranged." Dionysus winked suggestively.

The God of Corn frothed at the mouth and fainted.

"How lame," Shishido said, poking his father's forehead mole for any sort of response. "Well, at least he can't make me go to that stupid tea party..."

"Oho! So the lovely Persephone's here too, eh?" exclaimed Sengoku, leaping down from his perch. "Lucky!"

Shishido looked warily at him. "What do you want?"

"Still suspicious of me? I'm hurt, Phoney-chan," the vine-wreathed god pouted.

"Don't call me such a lame name!" Shishido shouted, hitting Sengoku's head.

"Ow! That's so mean, Phoney-chan," Sengoku wailed. "We haven't seen each other for fifty years and you hurt me like that? Mou... And I actually came all this way to see you."

"What made you think I want to see you?" snapped Shishido.

"The fact that I'm the only guy besides your dad you know nearby?" Sengoku reminded cheerfully.

Shishido bristled. "That's not the point!"

"So you'd rather hang out with your lady friends all day? Oh, I'm SOOO jealous. I want to be surrounded by nymphs all day too, but duty always calls," sighed Sengoku. Wiping imaginary tears away, he turned to leave. "Have fun with the ladies!"

"Wha--NO!" Shishido protested, grabbing Sengoku's robe with terror in his eyes. He obviously feared the nymphs (with their huge array of wardrobe and tank-full of make-up) more than he hated Sengoku's presence. "Don't leave!"

Sengoku beamed. "Okay!"

So the two (conscious) deities sat down and have a drink. Orange juice for Shishido and a specially brewed wine for Sengoku.

"What in Hades?" Shishido demanded, pointing at his drink.

Sengoku sniffed the drink. "That's orange juice."

"I know," Shishido said impatiently. "I mean, why do I get orange juice while you get wine?"

"Minors aren't allowed to drink alcohol," Sengoku replied, taking a long swig of his wine and looking very much content with life. "Plus, I'm the God of Wine. It's stupid for me to have orange juice."

"I'm five hundred thousand years old!" Shishido informed, crossing his arms.

"Really? Can't say I noticed," answered Sengoku, squinting at the Spring God. Then, he laughed. "Oh. So that's why you seem a little taller!"

"Shut up!" yelled an embarrassed Shishido, throwing his cup at the laughing god rolling on the ground. "It's not my fault I didn't inherit Oyaji's height!"

Sengoku sat up, wiping a tear from his eye. "You're right. You're quite of age--and height too, I see--"

"I'm gonna kick your ass," Shishido interrupted rudely.

"--to drink now!" Sengoku conjured another wine glass and handed it to Shishido. "Cheers!"

Shishido stared at the swirling red liquid hesitantly. "Do I become as stupid as you?" he asked as Sengoku drained his glass.

"Naww... That comes naturally!" Sengoku said, giggling. Suddenly, he paused, frowning. "Heeeyyy, did you just call me stupid?"

Shishido twitched. "I think I'd have that orange juice."

"Say, Phoney-chan--"

"Stop calling me that!"

"--You ever found someone to love?" Sengoku questioned, grinning stupidly. He was obviously drunk now. That must be some wine, to render Sengoku drunk after just one glass. Or maybe, Sengoku was just alcohol intolerant, which would be stupid since he's the God of Wine.

"Hades, no," Shishido scoffed. "Love is lame."

Sengoku gasped. "You didn't say 'love is lame' just now, did you?"

"Yes, I did."

The God of Wine gasped even more dramatically. Shishido glared at him. "What's your problem?"

"Quick! Quick! Stand up and do the chicken dance!" Sengoku cried, leaping to his feet and doing the chicken dance around Shishido.

"What the-- I don't want to!" Shishido yelled, pushing Sengoku away. "Why would I do such a stupid thing?"

"It's the only way to distract the powers you offended! Quick! Phoney-chan!" Sengoku tugged at Shishido's sleeves, staring at the sky uneasily. "Huh...? OH NOES! We're too late!"

A shower of rose petals fell around them and a choir of singing doves was heard. It's a sign that a god was descending from Olympus to grace the Earth with his presence. And apparently, it was no mere god; it was one of the most feared and revered god by mankind (but mostly feared).

"Dionysus, Persephone," Aphrodite greeted pleasantly. "Mind if we join you?"

Eros was with him, wearing the usual resigned expression he usually has when he's with his brother. That alone sent warning bells in Shishido's head to run like mad and hide himself in a cocoon. But of course, the Fates liked to see him suffer. He'd have to file a complaint against them one of these days.

"'Course not!" Sengoku said cordially, waving the brothers over. He had obviously forgotten the panicking spell he had earlier. "Come and have a drink! I even have a harmless grape juice for Eros-kun!"

"Why are we even here, aniki?" grumbled Yuuta, watching the other two deities uneasily. "Isn't it much easier to shoot him from-- ACK!!"

Sengoku and Shishido eyed the youngest god present who was hopping on one foot, clutching the other one as if in pain. Fuji gracefully dropped down on the grass beside them, throwing his brother an amused look.

"Oh, that Yuuta," he said fondly. "He's been practicing that dance forever!"

"It's lame," Shishido said bluntly.

"That's SO cool!" Sengoku exclaimed at the same time. He then joined Yuuta in his one-footed 'dance'.

"Oh?" Fuji just noticed Tachibana lying unconscious on the ground. He glanced at Shishido who was still sniffing the wine in his glass uncertainly. "What happened to Tachibana?"

"He happened." Shishido waved towards Sengoku, who was twirling a thoroughly disgruntled Yuuta in an invigorating dance of rumba. Shishido glanced cautiously at the smiling god. His dad had warned him how devious and sadistic the God of Love and Beauty could be, so Shishido knew he should be careful. "What made you visit Earth anyway?" he asked casually.

"He happened to hear someone insulting his sphere of influence..." Yuuta muttered, giving Sengoku a healthy roundhouse kick that immediately knocked the god out.

"I just want to ask you, Persephone-chan," said Fuji pleasantly. "...why you seem so averse in loving someone?"

Shishido blinked. "I dunno. Not interested," he replied, shrugging.

"Haven't found 'The One' yet?" Fuji asked.

"I'm... not exactly looking," Shishido said, beginning to get nervous.

The Spring God wasn't an easy person to intimidate, but this was a rare case. When an Olympian god got all pissed at you, you'd get real nervous. So would you probably, if Fuji begins to lean closer towards you with that fixed smile on his face. Unless, you're a Fuji fan girl. Then, you'd just shriek and die from extreme nosebleed.

"So do you want to look for that special someone?" Fuji persisted, leaning in even closer.

"Uh..." Shishido swallowed, inching away. "Not really."

Fuji's expression darkened and Shishido actually fell out of his seat. "Are you saying you'd rather be alone for the rest of your life?"

Shishido was now sweating profusely. His eyes wandered wildly around for an escape route. Then, his eyes landed on his dad.

An idea clicked.

"Persephone-chan?" Fuji called, peering into Shishido's face. "Are you alri--"

Shishido scrambled to his feet and began walking away. "I... ah, I just remembered some appointment, Fuji. I have to meet some acquaintances... You know. Tea party. Ahehehe..." Shishido gulped, before speeding off into the distance. "See you!"

Fuji watched Shishido disappear in the distance. "What an amazing dash," he commented lightly.

"Why didn't I get blessed with that ability? I'm the one who needs that the most," sighed Yuuta, downing the cup his brother handed him. Then, he froze. "A-aniki..."

"Hm?" asked Fuji happily.

"T-the drink you handed me just now..." Yuuta swallowed with difficulty. His eyes were beginning to swim. He had forgotten one very, VERY important thing. "That isn't Sengoku-san's special wine, is it?"

Fuji just smiled. "Saa... I wonder."

"ANI--" And Yuuta promptly passed out. He'd forgotten his oath to NEVER accept any drink his brother handed him.

The God of Love stared after the dust cloud Shishido left behind, for one rare moment, his eyes were completely open. And narrowed.

"'Love is lame', huh?" he said softly. Then, he whipped out a permanent inked marker and eyed the three unconscious figures with him. Uncapping the marker, he smiled. "Saa... I wonder how everything will turn out."

.

* * *

**Characters so far (in order of names' appearance):**  
**Prologue -** Ryuzaki Sumire (Hera), Nanjiroh Echizen (Zeus), Inui Sadaharu (Prometheus), Akutsu Jin (Poseidon), Dan Taichi (Triton), Ootori Choutarou (Hades), Fuji Syusuke (Aphrodite), Fuji Yuuta (Eros), Oishi Shuichirou (Hestia)

**Ch. 1 -** Kirihara Akaya (Ares), Oshitari Yuushi (Athena), Atobe Keigo (Apollo), Kaidoh Kaoru (Artemis), Kikumaru Eiji (Hermes), Kawamura Takashi (Hephaestus), Niou Masaharu (Eris)

**Ch. 2 -** Sakaki Tarou (first human), Hanamura Aoi (Pandora)

**Ch. 4 -** Tachibana Kippei (Demeter), Shishido Ryou (Persephone), Sengoku Kiyosumi (Dionysus)


	6. The Underworld

**Chapter V.**

**The Underworld**

* * *

The Underworld was a very busy place.

Souls come and go almost every thirty seconds, so the realm's workers must be quick and efficient in their appointed jobs so as to not waste any time. The Underworld staff knew how painful it was to get behind schedules. Father Time could be quite difficult to deal with, especially when asking for re-scheduling.

Age plus various philosophical insights, multiplied by insanity squared equals a very dangerous deity by the name of Yamato Yuudai.

Nope. It's better to work themselves to death (no pun intended) than ask for more time.

So it was the case one fine day in the Underworld.

We find Charon the boatman arriving as scheduled on the docks, bearing fresh batch of souls to be judged. The Judges, Rhadamanthus, Aeacus, and Minos busily reviewing the soul's Life File and stamping their judgment, either to reward the soul by sending it to a happy place called the Elysian Fields, or to send it to... well, hell (for the lack of a better term) in Tartarus, if they found the soul guilty of transgressions.

Tartarus was NOT a happy place to be in. Even before a soul passed through its door, it would be screaming itself hoarse in absolute terror. Yep, that's how wonderful that place was.

Now, these kinds of screams were normal to the residents of the Underworld. Of course at first they were mortified by it. But as time passed, they hear so much anguished screeches everyday that they got used to it.

But one resident never did.

Sure enough, when Minos stamped a large red 'X' on a soul's Life File, another round of terrified screams broke out.

And the Lord of the Underworld flinched in response.

The Judges looked up from their paper works to stare at their superior. Sure enough, Ootori was looking at the gates with anxious eyes.

Rhadamanthus sighed and put down his pen. "Hades-san, maybe you should take a break. Why not take a walk or something?" Minami said worriedly.

"Walk...?" Ootori repeated, distracted. He watched uneasily as another condemned soul was forcibly sucked by the gates of Tartarus. "Of course I walk, it's not like I can fly or something..."

Minami frowned. "I mean you should travel somewhere for a while. Don't you have some place you always like to visit?"

"Not really," Ootori replied gloomily. A tear escaped from his eyes and he sniffed. "I'm sorry I couldn't do anything, murderer-san... But you've been evil... I'm sorry!"

The Judges exchanged anxious glances. Minami stood up and steered their overly miserable superior away from the ghastly gates. "You need to take some time off. It'll do you a lot of good to be away from here for a while."

Ootori stared at him woefully. "Where am I supposed to go? I don't want to visit Olympus... It's too happy and after seeing this much pain and suffering..."

"What about the Earth?" Minami suggested.

Aeacus nodded in agreement. "It's been nine hundred ninety thousand years since your last visit on Earth," Higashikata said. "It's about time you visit again."

But the youngest Judge, Minos, said, "It's just as well he hasn't visited for so long, right? Last time Hades-san rose to visit Earth, a massive meteor wiped out the dinosaur race and almost caused extinction of lif--OMPPH!"

Minami and Higashikata removed each of their fists which embedded themselves on Muromachi's cheeks.

"That's unlikely to happen again, Hades-san," Higashikata said quickly, seeing forming tears in the doe-like eyes of their boss. "I'm sure nothing like that will happen this time."

"Yeah, nothing like that," agreed Muromachi, picking up his stamps to continue Judging. "Instead, there will be a season where all plants and crops will die and everything will be buried under sheets of ice, and it will be called winter. People will starve and--OOOFF!"

Muromachi's face met the table surface in a not-very-pleasant way.

"Don't listen to him, Hades-san," chuckled Higashikata, grinding the younger Judge's face on the table ("Hey! Watch the glasses! The glass--_crunch_--oh, man...").

Minami leaned close to Muromachi and hissed, "I swear Minos-kun, if you went and subscribed to the _FATE Tomorrow: Magazine for the Seers_ again, you're going to have one *interesting* lifetime with Yamato-senpai that you'll beg me to send you to Tartarus instead."

Muromachi's eyes widened, though no one really noticed because of his sunglasses. "No! I mean, alright! I'll un-subscribe!"

If there's one thing Muromachi was afraid of, it was Father Time. The ageless god have taken Muromachi in as his long-lost younger brother (go figure why), and was determined to shower the Judge with lots of affection. Needless to say, the Judge was not happy.

"It's true though," Ootori sighed. "I tend to bring disasters whenever I come up on Earth. And that prediction seems too risky for me to challenge."

"But Hades-san, you need a break," Minami insisted. "You're stressed out."

"A breath of fresh air will do you a lot of good," added Higashikata. "The stench of death here is not the most appealing scents."

Ootori blinked. "You guys..." he trailed off.

"And, Hades-san will be able to see the Sun..." finished Muromachi quietly. Everyone stared at the youngest Judge, face turned upwards where the thick crust of the earth shielded them from the flaming yellow star.

The warm Sun... which brings everything on Earth to life... so unlike the cold and dreary palace they all resided in.

That did it.

The dignified Lord of the Dead vanished completely, and all was left was a young god opening his arms to his friends (never really subordinates in the first place) crying his eyes out. It wasn't a complete surprise when there came more than three pair of arms of the Judges that encircled Ootori.

Somnus, the God of Sleep was there, looking far from his usual sleeping self with a wide grin. The mischief-making god, the Trickster himself, Eris, was also present, squeezing everyone with a bone-breaking hug and promptly ignoring the cracking ribs and succeeding shouts of pain. Charon, the boatman, willingly abandoned his ferry to join in the group hug when he felt left out by all the love. And Father Time, realizing he arrived just when the absolutely "AWWW"-inspiring group hug was breaking apart, gladly turned some minutes back in his hour glass to arrive in time and join in the most touching scene the Underworld had come to see.

"So, what are we hugging each other for? This isn't some kind of trick to delay my ferry schedules, is it? Although I know Hades-san isn't that kind of person, I do wonder about the others, especially the Trickster one. He did manage to get me late several times before, including the one where he pretended to be one of the souls to be ferried off. He took so much time in getting into the boat that--UUMMPP!"

Shinji was cut off from his famous mumblings by one long and wet smooch from the Trickster. Niou pulled away with a loud smack and smirked. "I thought that'll make you shut up. Puri."

For once, Shinji couldn't say a word.

Everyone enjoyed a good laugh at him.

"OOTORI! Are you really going up to Earth again?" Jirou asked, bouncing excitedly on his feet. It seemed that his five-hundred year 'hibernation' period was over for now. "You know, the Judges... er, they're no longer called that right? What's the name? Jellies? No. Jammies? AH! JIMMIES! Yeah, the Jimmies--"

"Hey! Don't call us that!" protested Minami and Higashikata.

"I'm a Judge too! Say my name as well!" added Muromachi frowning.

"--have a point. You really need to take a rest!" Jirou finished. Then he pointed at Muromachi. "Eh, who are you?"

Muromachi sobbed. "I'm forgotten..."

"Oh yeah, Jirou was asleep when you first got here," Higashikata told Muromachi. "No wonder he doesn't know you."

"Touji-chaann!" Yamato enveloped the sobbing god in a hug. "I am ever so proud of you, brother! To think you'd manage to drive the Lord of the Underworld to tears..."

"I'm not your brother!" Muromachi yelled, pushing the older sunglass-wearing god away. "Get the Hades ('er, excuse me, Hades-san') away from me!"

"But Touji-chaaann," said Yamato, frowning. "Everyone can see how much we look alike. No one can deny the resembla--"

Muromachi removed his sunglasses.

"--JUMPING JUPITER!" Yamato grabbed the sunglass-less Muromachi and shook him. "Who are you and where is my Touji-chaann?"

With a sigh, the sunglasses returned to its usual place.

Yamato paused. "Oh, Touji-chaann. Where did you go just now?"

Muromachi punched him.

"Oooohhh, nice hook," everyone said, applauding.

"OOTORI!!" Jirou shouted suddenly. "You need to fall in love and bring home a queen!"

Everyone choked and coughed. Together. "Love!?" everyone repeated incredulously. "Queen!?"

"Yep! I heard Fuji saying once that love brings light and life no matter how dreary everything else is!" Jirou announced happily.

Minami frowned. "Fuji Syusuke?"

"THE God of Love and Beauty?" Muromachi clarified.

"Uwaah! He's so cool!" Jirou thrilled, forgetting everything he first said as he began fanboying over Fuji.

Higashikata gestured Ootori closer. "By all means, don't fall in love! Don't even talk to anyone to make sure!" He shuddered. "Just hearing Fuji's name sends chills down my spine..."

Ootori blushed furiously. "I don't want to fall in lo--love..."

"When are you planning to leave anyway?" asked Niou, digging his pinky on his ear. "Maybe I can rule the Underworld for you while you get a tan?"

"No offense, Niou, but I really like the existence of Underworld..." Ootori said warily. "You know, as a balance to life?"

"Oh, sheesh," scoffed Niou, rolling his eyes. "It's not like I'm planning on turning the Underworld into the great Niou Masaharu Kingdom and using an army of the undead to take over the world." At the sudden silence, Niou blinked. "Oh, c'mon guys. Seriously. You know me better than that!"

Everyone eased up.

"No, taking over the Underworld is juvenile. I plan on taking over the universe," Niou declared, causing everyone to face fault to the ground.

"SUGEE!" screamed Jirou, glomping Niou. "Taking over the universe is cool! It's cool, na Jimmies?"

"We have names. Why can't you use them?" Higashikata sighed dejectedly.

"I'm going to hurt Dionysus for that name," Minami said darkly.

"Mention me too!" yelled Muromachi.

Jirou frowned and pointed at Muromachi. "Do I know you?"

Muromachi went in a corner and sobbed.

"Oi, Jirou!" yelled Niou, trying unsuccessfully to pry the arms around his neck. "Get off me!"

"Taking over the universe is a daunting task. There are so many things to consider like how you would rule every galaxy," Shinji muttered, appearing behind Jirou, who yelled how cool it was to appear behind people's backs without them noticing. "Of course, multi-tasking is a must. Although I really shouldn't say anything because I'm quite hard-pressed to multi-task all the time. Though I can't really be blamed because it's really hard to ferry a boat full of souls while trying to learn a different language. And French has so many difficult pronunciations..."

Between Jirou's excited screams, the Jimmies' indignant protests, Muromachi's sobs, Shinji's mumbles, Niou's complaints of being strangled, it was barely noticed by anyone how a silver-haired deity gave a small, but fond smile before slipping quietly into his private chambers to pack his things.

"Don't worry about them, Ootori. I'll keep them in line. Or at least, I'll try to."

Ootori smiled. "Thank you, Yamato-san."

The ageless god sighed before sitting beside the silver-haired deity. "It's been hard, hasn't it?" he asked quietly. "Seeing nothing but death every single day..."

The smile on the younger god's lips faltered.

Yamato stared solemnly at him. "Advice is like a double-edged sword. So I won't give you one," he said finally, standing up and clasping Ootori's shoulder. "But at least I can say one thing: courage is found in unlikely places. You just need to look for it."

Ootori looked up, meeting Yamato's eyes. "Yamato-san..."

Yamato smiled.

"That..." Ootori trailed off.

"I know," Yamato nodded in understanding. Sometimes, his wisdom was simply too deep to be expressed in words.

Deciding to be honest, Ootori gathered his courage and continued. "...That was a horrible rendition of a Lord of the Rings quote, Yamato-san," he said truthfully.

And so when Ootori Choutarou, Lord of the Dead, left the Underworld, Time was left standing still.

Literally.

.

* * *

**Characters so far (in order of names' appearance):**  
Prologue - Ryuzaki Sumire (Hera), Nanjiroh Echizen (Zeus), Inui Sadaharu (Prometheus), Akutsu Jin (Poseidon), Dan Taichi (Triton), Ootori Choutarou (Hades), Fuji Syusuke (Aphrodite), Fuji Yuuta (Eros), Oishi Shuichirou (Hestia)

**Ch. 1 -** Kirihara Akaya (Ares), Oshitari Yuushi (Athena), Atobe Keigo (Apollo), Kaidoh Kaoru (Artemis), Kikumaru Eiji (Hermes), Kawamura Takashi (Hephaestus), Niou Masaharu (Eris)

**Ch. 2 -** Sakaki Tarou (first human), Hanamura Aoi (Pandora)

**Ch. 4 -** Tachibana Kippei (Demeter), Shishido Ryou (Persephone), Sengoku Kiyosumi (Dionysus)

**Ch. 5 -** Yamato Yuudai (Father Time), Ibu Shinji (Charon), Minami Kentarou (Rhadamanthus), Higashikata Masami (Aeacus), Muromachi Touji (Minos), Akutagawa Jirou (Somnus)


	7. Persephone's Kidnapping

**********A/N: **Hello. To the people who have this story on fav/alert, you may notice this update is a familiar chapter. This will also be the case for the next several updates. Please bear with me for a while.

Basically, I've re-written the story and edited some stuff up. There are shorter chapters, grammar and dialogues have been improved (hopefully). More info can be found in the Foreword in the beginning of the story. Nothing major changed, still follows the same storyline. Thanks for still reading!

* * *

**Chapter VI.**

**The Rape of Persephone**

* * *

"Pon-chan, look at this dress! You'll look FABULOUS in this."

"Oh, those stilettos are no good, sister. They're orange. It's not his colour."

"But, look how sparkly it is! It even has bells that jingles when you walk! Pon-chan, try it on with the--EHH?? WHERE'S PON-CHAN?"

"AHH!! HE'S RUNNING AWAY! PON-CHAN!"

"COME BACK! YOU'LL RUIN YOUR HAIR!"

Using the nymphs wasn't the brightest excuse Shishido had come up with in his half a million years of existence. But considering the situation at hand (wherein the God of Love was nothing short of murdering you where you stand), it's the best idea he could come up with.

"Curses," he muttered darkly, making sure there were no longer clips and ribbons before tying his hair in the usual pony tail.

Within five minutes, the nymphs were able to curl and crimp his hair to their liking. Good thing he managed to escape immediately. He shuddered to think what he'll look like if he stayed another minute with the rabid, fashion-crazed nymphs.

"WHAT IN FREAKIN' HADES?" Shishido screamed, stumbling backwards and began hyperventilating.

No. That wasn't a random burst of emotion from the drama queen that was Shishido.

It just happened that he decided to inspect where his running had brought him. And what he saw made him scream like that.

It was a desert. No green. No water.

Just some dried up tree stumps and cracked ground.

Before you say 'Pfft. It's just a desert. What's so shocking about that?', 'desert' didn't exist in the Spring God's world. All Shishido knew were 'abundance', 'growth', 'life' and 'this is lame'. Demeter never told him about drought and famish because it simply didn't exist that time. Yes; those were the happier days.

Recovering from shock, he reached out and touched a tree trunk, feeling the tree's effort to keep on living. But it's too late. Shishido felt the urge to cry as the tree died under his palm.

"What the Hades happened here?" Shishido demanded to no one in particular.

A double sneeze reached his ears. Following the sound, Shishido reached a small cave that had been filled with wild flowers. Now, each and every one of them had shrivelled up and died. Except one.

Which a stranger was attempting to crush at the moment.

In a heartbeat, Shishido pushed the stranger away from the flower and stood protectively over it.

"Touch it and die," he snarled, before turning his attention on the weakening flower. Using every shred of divine power he had, he coaxed the little flower to live. To his relief, the flower stopped decomposing and began to bloom once more. Other plants nearby began growing as well.

Satisfied with his work, he glared his best glare at the stranger. "Oi. You're the one who caused all this? What the Hades are you trying to do killing helpless plants like that?"

The stranger, who had been sniffling quietly, sneezed with such force that made him stumble backwards. Despite his anger, Shishido could see the stranger was miserable. Maybe he was sick?

"Hey, you alright?" Shishido asked, frowning.

"I'm so sorry... I just want to touch it, that's all. I didn't want it to happen but..." The stranger looked up. To Shishido's surprise, it wasn't a shady-looking character he'd come to expect. It was a silver-haired boy with the most innocent face he had ever seen.

And it was twisted with grief at the moment.

Shishido felt as guilty as if he committed the most grievous crime in the world and deserved to be re-incarnated as a sea cucumber for it.

"I never meant any harm..." the stranger said earnestly. "I--I just never expected it would come to this... I'm truly sorry."

Cronus. How much more awful could he feel after seeing that expression?

"Hey, look... Forget what I said," Shishido said, scratching his head. "It's no big deal. I can make them grow again, being the Spring God and all... Besides, it's not your fault--"

"It's MY fault," the boy insisted, his voice cracking with emotion. He rubbed his eyes with his fist, making him look even more vulnerable. "I shouldn't have come here."

Shishido frowned. "How can this be your fault? I mean, I myself don't know what's happening. Maybe I'll ask Dad about it later..." He paused. "Or maybe not. Whatever. Anyway, you can't be responsible for this."

"I... I'm not?" the boy asked hesitantly.

Shishido didn't know why, but he was sure he'll do anything just to wipe that miserable look from the other boy's face. "Yep. As I see it, there's some devilry at work here. I won't be surprised if Hades himself is the cause of this..." Shishido commented intelligently.

If Shishido had been so sure that comment would forever placate the silver-haired boy, Great Cronus, he was SO absurdly, catastrophically with epic proportions wrong.

Tears welled inside the boy's eyes as his shoulders began to shake. He looked as if he's having a seizure.

"O-OI!" Shishido yelled in panic. "What is wrong with you?!"

"I..." The other boy choked out. "I'm Hades."

* * *

The God of Wind got very little vacation, so once he managed to get a day off, he's always determined to enjoy it to the fullest. Working with Poseidon to conjure up storms could get really tiring. Akutsu was not the easiest person to work with, but it's all part of the job.

So Aeolus was chillaxing, sipping his ice-cold frappe as he read the _Olympia Today_ for the latest immortal buzz, when his front door suddenly exploded into million particles.

He choked on his frappe and stared. "Demeter?"

Tachibana stood where Akazawa's door once existed. While he was used to the other's presence in his home (he, Demeter and Dionysus had been childhood friends), the fiery aura surrounding the usually calm god was new.

As well as the flower drawn in his forehead with his famous mole as the center.

"Why the Hades do you have a flower on your forehead?" Akazawa inquired.

"My son, where is he? Is he here?" Tachibana demanded, ransacking Akazawa's loft.

"Persephone?" Akazawa frowned. "No. He hasn't been here since the time he hid from your nymphs some hundred years ago. Why? What's wrong?"

Tachibana collapsed on his knees, weeping. "M...my child. My precious daughter is lost! What if someone kidnapped her?"

Akazawa stared. "You do know that your child is a guy, right?"

"What?" Tachibana asked, distracted.

"Your child is a guy," Akazawa repeated dutifully. He could forgive his friend for being insane just this once. It's not every day a mentally-retarded Tachibana visited him. A mentally-retarded Sengoku was usual though.

"Who would kidnap such an adorable little boy like that?" Tachibana wept.

Just then, a third presence burst into the room, panting heavily. It was Dionysus, with different swirls and clovers drawn across his face.

"Man, you run fast, Tachibana," Sengoku wheezed, clutching at his chest. Then, he noticed Akazawa. He bounced up and beamed. "Oh, hey Akazawa! Long time!"

Akazawa could feel his day of relaxation slipping further away from him. "What happened? And what the Hades are those in your face?"

"Well, it began with my annual visit. Tachibana finally proclaimed his love for me and then--"

"PERSEPHONE!"

"--he decided to sleep! But fortunately, Phoney-chan's there keeping me company! Oh, and boy, he looks so cute! And then he told me he's 500K now! Can you believe it, Akazawa? Our little Phoney-chan is of age now! Oh, how it touches my heart--"

"MY SON HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!"

"--Aphrodite arrived with Eros-kun! Ah, did you know Eros-kun dances so well? Then I fell asleep, wonder how that--"

"MY PRECIOUS SON! WHERE ART THOU?!"

"--next thing I knew, Tachibana was shaking me with a pretty flower on his forehead, asking me where Phoney-chan is. But since I was asleep, I had no idea! So I told him Fuji got him, then he went crazy!" Sengoku paused, shaking his head. "You'd think Fuji is dangerous or something, the way Tachibana is acting!"

"MY SON! YOU HATH FORSAKETH ME!" Tachibana wailed.

Akazawa twitched. He reached out and bitch slapped Tachibana. "Stop acting OOC. It grates on my nerves."

Tachibana blinked. "What...? Oh, sorry."

"Sure," Akazawa replied. "But after hearing the story, the only logical conclusion was Shishido offended Fuji in some way that the God of Love wants to extract his revenge in the most painful way possible."

"You're not assuring me one bit," Tachibana told him.

"Say, Phoney-chan said something that could offend Fuji..." Sengoku said thoughtfully. "He said *beep* was lame."

Akazawa and Tachibana gasped dramatically. "No."

Sengoku nodded gravely.

"And he didn't do the chicken dance?" Tachibana asked worriedly.

Sengou shook his head gravely.

"You did tell him, though?" Akazawa clarified.

"Yes I did," Sengoku said defensively. "Anyway, everyone knows Fuji hates the chicken dance more than he hates that chick that caught Eros-kun's eyes, and that's saying a LOT of hate," he paused. "Okay, so he couldn't hate anything more than that chick, but still."

"Then Shishido is in serious trouble," Akazawa concluded. "If it's anyone else, I'm sure we could've bribed them one way or another... But Fuji's different."

Tachibana stood up. "I can't stay here anymore. I'm going to find him."

"We'll go with you," Sengoku chirped. "That way we can cover more grounds! Right, Akazawa?"

Akazawa could almost see his day off waving goodbye at him tauntingly. He sighed. "Wait, let me get my coat then we'll--"

He never finished his sentence as his friends glomped him; Tachibana in gratitude and Sengoku for some perverted reasons Akazawa didn't want to think about.

Oh, the things Akazawa does for friends...

* * *

"What are you doing?!" Ootori exclaimed in distress. "Stop!"

Shishido stared at him. "This is the only way."

"B-but, you don't have to do that! It's alright, I swear!" Ootori cried, attempting to grab the pair of scissors that the shorter god held.

"This is my decision, so butt off!" Shishido said, dodging out of Ootori's reach. He continued snipping at his long hair, not stopping until he had only a cropped top. He shook his head free of the excess hair. "There."

Ootori stared sadly at the hair that littered the ground. "But you have such beautiful hair... Why did you cut it off?"

"Che. I told you. It's for you to see how sorry I am for insulting you like that," Shishido answered gruffly. His head feels a whole lot lighter now.

"You didn't have to go that far!" Ootori protested, picking up the scissors. "I can tell you cared for your hair very much... So to cut it like that--"

"It's my decision," Shishido interrupted. "Anyway, no use arguing about it anymore since it's done." He stared at the more powerful god rather embarrassedly and bowed. "Again, I'm very sorry."

Ootori was quiet for a while. "It's alright. I get that all the time... I'm the Lord of the Underworld. It's understandable if living things can't stand my presence in such near proximity."

Shishido scoffed. "That's just lame."

Ootori smiled sadly. "Yes it is. I'm just not cut to fit in with the living and--"

"That's not what I'm saying," Shishido interrupted again. "I mean, it's lame how we of the living misunderstand you. We grew up hearing stories of how terrible the Underworld is and how scary its ruler is. But those happened to be just lame stories. I mean, you're not scary at all."

"Just another of my short-comings," Ootori sighed. "I can't live up to everyone's expectations--"

"I meant that in a good way!" Shishido said impatiently. "It's a good thing you're not like the Hades in those stories. That Hades is just uncool, and well, you're not."

Ootori looked up. "I... I'm not?"

Shishido flushed slightly. "Yeah. You're not lame at all. Che, you even braved coming up here even if you expected such uncool reactions to your presence."

For the first time, a genuine smile broke into Ootori's face. "Thank you very much, Shishido-san."

"It's nothing," Shishido said, looking away. If he stared at Ootori longer, he'll be blinded by the aura of joy the other god kept emitting.

"No, really. This is the first time anyone spoke to me like that," Ootori said earnestly. "I'm truly thankful."

"I told you. It's alright," Shishido said. Then, he was struck by a strange thought. "Hey, if you're here, who manages the Underworld?"

Eyes widening, Ootori leapt to his feet. "Oh no! I left too long! I need to get back immediately!" He bowed profusely at Shishido. "Thank you again for your kind words and company, Shishido-san. I do hope we can see each other again."

With one last smile, Ootori vanished from where he stood.

Shishido twitched. "Damn. He's got my scissors."

.

* * *

**Characters so far (in order of names' appearance):**  
**Prologue -** Ryuzaki Sumire (Hera), Nanjiroh Echizen (Zeus), Inui Sadaharu (Prometheus), Akutsu Jin (Poseidon), Dan Taichi (Triton), Ootori Choutarou (Hades), Fuji Syusuke (Aphrodite), Fuji Yuuta (Eros), Oishi Shuichirou (Hestia)

**Ch. 1 -** Kirihara Akaya (Ares), Oshitari Yuushi (Athena), Atobe Keigo (Apollo), Kaidoh Kaoru (Artemis), Kikumaru Eiji (Hermes), Kawamura Takashi (Hephaestus), Niou Masaharu (Eris)

**Ch. 2 -** Sakaki Tarou (first human), Hanamura Aoi (Pandora)

**Ch. 4 -** Tachibana Kippei (Demeter), Shishido Ryou (Persephone), Sengoku Kiyosumi (Dionysus)

**Ch. 5 - **Yamato Yuudai (Father Time), Ibu Shinji (Charon), Minami Kentarou (Rhadamanthus), Higashikata Masami (Aeacus), Muromachi Touji (Minos), Akutagawa Jirou (Somnus)

**Ch. 6 -** Akazawa Yoshirou (Aelous)


	8. Descent

**Chapter VII.**

**Descent**

* * *

Persephone has been missing for three months now. Not a single soul has seen him since.

"All is lost..." Tachibana fell on his knees. "My precious Persephone's lost..."

Akazawa and Sengoku exchanged glances.

"Is it just me or are there little black storm clouds hanging around Tachibana's head?" Sengoku asked.

"It's not just you. Look, there's also lightning there..." Akazawa commented.

"I can't believe Phoney-chan vanished like that," Sengoku sighed.

"The last who saw him were Tachibana's nymphs. And they're not much help either," Akazawa said, shuddering at the remembrance of the fasion-crazed nymphs. "No, they didn't help at all."

Sengoku looked up, covering his eyes from the sunlight's assault. "Now, if we could just ask the Sun if it has seen anything..."

"Oh, are you finally going to beg ore-sama's participation in this?" a voice said above him. "_Be awed by my beautiful presence_."

Akazawa and Sengoku stared at their guest. It was Phoebus Apollo, God of Truth and part-time Sun God.

"Now, what's this that you want to ask ore-sama?" Atobe demanded, conjuring a jewel-encrusted throne and sitting imperiously on it before snapping his fingers. "Tell me, quick."

"Well, the thing is, Persephone has gone missing and--" Akazawa began.

"The Spring God. Yes," Atobe interrupted. "So you decided to hunt for him."

"...Yeah. But as you see," Akazawa waved towards Tachibana who was still in a tight ball of depression. "So we decided to--"

"--look for him in every corner of the Earth," Atobe finished, in his Insight pose. "Your efforts are in vain. You will not find him here."

"So you know where he is?" Sengoku asked.

Atobe eyed Tachibana disdainfully. "Have you searched the Underworld?"

Akazawa frowned. "Shishido would never venture in the Underworld. He doesn't even know where to find it."

"Anyone could find it if they looked," Atobe contradicted. "Or if they're with someone who knows the way."

"He doesn't know anyone from the Underworld," Sengoku said. "And we told him never talk to strangers. It was practically engraved on him!"

"Not engraved enough," Atobe commented haughtily.

"So someone from the Underworld took him?" Akazawa asked.

Atobe paused. "Not exactly 'took' him, but in a way, yes."

"You're being vague," Akazawa told him bluntly.

"It's on the job description," Atobe said, flicking his hair. "Rest assured that what I've told you is Truth."

"Well, you _are_ the God of Truth," Sengoku said, rolling his eyes.

"Be grateful ore-sama spent some of his precious time to help you peasants. Cronus, people are so helpless without ore-sama. What a horrible world it must be without my magnificent presence, ahn?" Then he smirked as he vanished. "Good luck on taking him back... You'll need it."

"Well, at least we know where to look," Akazawa commented. "Sengoku, get Tachibana up. We're going to the Underworld."

"I don't need to," Sengoku replied.

"C'mon, get him up and oh... is that him?" Akazawa asked, squinting at a distant mountain.

"Yep. And look, he left flaming foot tracks for us to follow," Sengoku said.

Akazawa sighed. "Let's go. Before Tachibana decided to rip the Underworld apart."

* * *

Charon was currently doing what he did best: Ferrying. And mumbling.

"This is strange. This is the first time I've ferried a living on my boat. And he claims to be a god at that. I don't know whether to believe him because I keep thinking that gods should be tall like Hades-san. But then what about Somnus-san? He's a god too, but he's so short, and sleepy too. I think Somnus-san is shorter than this guy but only slightly I think because they're both tiny--"

"OI! Who are you calling tiny?" his passenger yelled angrily.

"--And what's this? Despite his height he's got an attitude bigger than the Underworld cavern. Not only does the short person ordered me to ferry him across the river like some kind of lowly servant, he even has the nerve to shout at me. I wonder why he wanted to see Hades-san that badly? Maybe it's to shout at Hades-san as well? But--"

"What? No, I won't!" Shishido protested indignantly.

"--He won't dare to; I'll make sure of that. Hades-san takes great care for us here so we ought to do the same for him--"

"He really is that kind of person, isn't he?" Shishido asked quietly, thinking back on the conversations he had with the Lord of the Underworld.

Shinji paused to regard his passenger. "You know him?"

"That's what I'm here for, aren't you listening?" Shishido snapped. "He's got something of mine, so I want it back."

"No. I meant, you _know_ him? As Ootori Choutarou?" Shinji clarified.

"Huh?" Shishido was rather slow today, since it's the first time he descended in the Underworld. Naturally, he's distracted by the souls and shades of people clamoring for salvation everywhere.

"Not everyone knows Ootori," Shinji said, resuming his rowing. "I guess you're one of the precious few people fortunate enough to glimpse him."

Shishido found nothing to say to that. Surprisingly, Shinji himself didn't speak again. Finally, they reached the shore. The boatman reached out a hand towards Shishido, who cautiously took it.

"I have a busy schedule so I hope you'll forgive me for not accompanying you ashore," Shinji said. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Persephone-san. I hope the accommodations would be to your liking."

Shishido twitched. "I'm not here for a freakin' vacation!" With a sigh, Shishido walked on, not really sure where he's supposed to go. Until he tripped on something and fell face-first on the ground.

"OI! Don't just sleep on the way!" He shouted at the figure sleeping rather contentedly on the ground. The figure simply grunted in his sleep. Shishido twitched. "This must be Somnus... Sheesh. What's up with this people?!"

He proceeded on taking on the boy on his back and half-dragged him to a safer, and more wholesome sleeping ground. He expected the boy to plop down and continue sleeping, so he almost had a heart attack when they boy's eyes flew wide open.

"SUGEE! It's true after all!" The boy grinned happily. "Welcome to the Underworld, Your Ladyship."

"Ladyship? What are you talking about?!" Shishido yelled.

"Eh?" Jirou looked confused. "You're the queen, right?"

"Q-queen?!" Shishido choked. Then he glared. "Do I look like a freakin' female to you?"

"Well, no. No female could glare as scary as that," Jirou pointed out cheerfully. "'Cept probably Hera."

"Whatever. Hey, do you know where I could find--"

"Are you still going to stay?" Jirou interrupted.

"What?" Shishido asked.

"You're going to stay, right?" Jirou said hopefully. "Even if you aren't a queen."

"Why the Hades do you want me to stay?" Shishido demanded.

"Because you're so amusing!" Jirou laughed, and Shishido felt the urge to hit him. "But more importantly it's to keep Ootori company."

"You're here, aren't you?" Shishiod pointed out. "And that boat guy."

Jirou looked thoughtful. "...We're not always by his side, right? Shinji has his ferry duties, while I have many bouts of sleep, some of which are unexpected and ranges from a day to several hundred years."

The God of Sleep scratched his head when Shishido didn't say anything. "It's hard for Ootori to stay in this place, even if he has us around. Everyone here's busy so we rarely see each other. By being busy, we forget the kind of place we live in. But it doesn't work well for Ootori as it does with the rest of us."

Shishido crossed his arms. "Why are you telling me this?"

"To make you stay of course!" Jirou answered.

"Why?" Shishido repeated.

Jirou beamed. "Because I'm pretty sure you can make Ootori happy!"

* * *

"Ah! Shishido-san?!" Ootori said in surprise at his guest.

"Yeah."

"Why are you here?" Ootori asked, staring curiously at the other god, looking out of place in his green and brown robes in the dreary Underworld setting.

"Isn't it obvious?" Shishido scoffed. "I'm here to get my scissors."

"Here you go," Ootori said, handing the scissors to Shishido. "I can't believe you went all this way to get it. I'd have come up to return it but... EH? Shishido-san! W-why did you throw it on the River Styx?!"

Shishido rolled his eyes. "You're noisy."

"But, you came all this way to get them!" Ootori flailed about, distressed. "Even gods are not allowed to touch that river."

"Che. I told you I came here to get my scissors."

"Then why did you throw it in the river?! We'll only get it if we drain the river and that'll take forever--"

"Then I'll stay here until we get it back," Shishido said simply, sitting casually on Hades' throne.

* * *

"Are you saying all the plants have dried up and there is snow everywhere?" Zeus demanded, scowling at Hermes.

"It's what the reports say, nya," Hermes replied. "It also says humans are dying by hundreds from starvation as each month passes."

"That's impossible! Demeter is a responsible kid. He wouldn't let all his crops die," Nanjiroh insisted.

"There must be some kind of trouble on Earth," Hestia said worriedly. "Maybe he's gotten sick or something... Oh, I should've visited more often!"

"Oishi, we're gods. We don't get sick," Athena reminded, adjusting his glasses unnecessarily because he looked cool doing that. "But you're right. Something must have happened to come to this crisis."

"Che! It couldn't be that bad," Ares said, yawning. "I didn't instigate any wars after all."

"There's also no news of Dionysus," Iris, the messenger of Hera, added. He blew a bubble from his gum and popped it almost immediately. "All vines and barley withered as well. And also, no one heard from Aeolus for the last three months. Poseidon said---insert expletives here---Aeolus never did show up for the scheduled mega-storm in the Pacific two weeks ago."

"This is getting suspicious," Hera commented with a frown. "Our chief Earth gods missing at the same time? Something's definitely wrong."

Silence fell in the hall.

Zeus had called for an emergency meeting on the issue that just reached him: all plant life had stopped growing and reproducing, causing massive death and starvation among animals and humans alike. He got fed-up of the ceaseless ringing of his divine answering machine from the countless prayers of salvation and was determined to put an end to it.

"Well? Who has been down to Earth recently?" Nanjiroh demanded.

"Yuuta and I did. Although I don't know anything that might lead to this..." Aphrodite replied, as Eros nodded his agreement. "We just visited Tachibana and Sengoku to..." He trailed off, his eyes opening to reveal the rare blue eyes. "Wait, come to think of it, something did happen that time."

Everyone turned to regard the God of Love.

"What happened, Fuji?" Hephaestus asked.

"Well... Persephone was there when we visited. He even insulted me, my job and Yuuta," Fuji said, looking peaceful despite his words, making everyone shiver. "He's gone missing too, right, Marui?"

The bubble-blowing redhead, who also happened to be the Rainbow God (although he hated the name because it sounded so gay), browsed his files. "Yep. He's missing as well. Last time he's seen was when he was escaping from the clutches of rabid fashion-crazed nymphs."

"It's just as I've thought," Fuji said. "All these disappearances are linked together."

"How did you know that?" Kirihara demanded. "Unless it was YOU who kidnapped them!"

Fuji gave Kirihara The Look. "Your existence would be more appreciated had you been a clam."

As Kirihara's sputtered wordlessly at the insult, Fuji was already ignoring him. "Maybe Apollo knows something. He's bound to arrive from his half-year duty as Sun God, wasn't he?"

"Did someone mention ore-sama's beautiful name?" Atobe asked, leaning causally against a pillar.

"Fssshuu... Welcome back," Artemis said quietly, earning him an affectionate pat on the head from his brother as he passed.

"This is about the uproar on Earth, ahnn?" Atobe smirked. "Well, it's really quite simple. Return Persephone to his dad and everything will be back to normal."

"Where exactly did Persephone go?" Oshitari asked curiously.

"And why did he left in the first place, nya?" added Eiji.

Atobe snorted (in the most elegant way possible). "I don't think it's for me to tell. Don't you think it's better to hear it from the persons' involved themselves?" He eyed Zeus amusedly. "But I'll say this one thing. Your brother is much more powerful than you think."

Nanjiroh gaped. "...Choutarou?"

Atobe only smirked that knowing smirk of his. "I've said what I must. Ore-sama is no longer involved in this." He turned to leave. "Come, Kaoru-chan. Tell me about your trips in the wild."

Kaidoh frowned. "But then I wouldn't--"

Atobe stared at him for a moment. "I see. You are concerned for your little pets on Earth. Well then, come and have tea with me after this nonsense." Everyone watched as Apollo sauntered away, secretly envying his ability to see the future.

"You know, if he's that unconcerned, this issue must have ended up just fine," Sumire observed.

"But for how long would this be an issue?" Oshitari said. "It might take thousand years, and although it will be resolved, chances are humans are already extinct by then."

"Wait, wait!" Kirihara exclaimed. "Does that mean Hades kidnapped Persephone, so that when Demeter found out he became so distraught and decided to look for his son, and that Dionysus and Aeolus being friends with Demeter, simply decided to help him?"

Everyone stared at him. Then, they simultaneously chuckled while shaking their heads. "No."

"Aww... Why not?" Kirihara whined. "It's like the most perfectly logical explanation EVER!"

"We know that, bratling," Marui said, patting his head. "We just don't like to acknowledge the fact that it's you who figured it out."

Kirihara perked up at that. "Does that mean I pwn the lot of you?"

"NO." Everyone said in synchro as they threw various objects at him.

"Alright. Although I still can't figure why Choutarou would kidnap anyone, we need to return Persephone to his dad," Nanjiroh said briskly. "ORDERS. Kikumaru. Go to the Underworld and explain to Choutarou the situation."

"Hoi? The Underworld?" Eiji paled. "Um... I don't usually complain to orders, nya, but I protest on this! Cerberus-chan... H-he really doesn't like me, nya!"

"Ah, yes. You almost got ripped in half last time," Nanjiroh said thoughtfully. "Then, Marui, you go to the Underworld while Kikumaru, you will go and stop Tachibana from reaching the Underworld."

Marui gasped. "But there's something there that could rip me in half too!"

"At least Somnus is not a three-headed dog," Sumire said reasonably. "Go, I'll give you ambrosia cake later."

The two official messengers of Olympus headed out, Hermes on his little winged boots and Iris on his rainbow.

"The rest of you, use your powers to help out mankind in every way possible," Nanjiroh ordered before muttering, "Cronus' ass, my head's still ringing from that damn answering machine! Can't a guy read his porn magazines in pea--ACK! WOMAN! THAT'S MY LEG YOU'RE BREAKING! OW!!!"

Yuuta waited until everyone left the hall.

"Aniki," he called, staring at his brother suspiciously. "You don't have anything to do with all those disappearances, do you?"

Fuji threw him a hurt look. "No, of course not."

"Oh, that's good," Yuuta sighed in relief.

"Things are unfolding as I would have planned anyway, so no worries," Fuji said cheerfully, as he went away to bother Kirihara.

.

* * *

**Characters so far (in order of names' appearance:**  
**Prologue -** Ryuzaki Sumire (Hera), Nanjiroh Echizen (Zeus), Inui Sadaharu (Prometheus), Akutsu Jin (Poseidon), Dan Taichi (Triton), Ootori Choutarou (Hades), Fuji Syusuke (Aphrodite), Fuji Yuuta (Eros), Oishi Shuichirou (Hestia)

**Ch. 1 -** Kirihara Akaya (Ares), Oshitari Yuushi (Athena), Atobe Keigo (Apollo), Kaidoh Kaoru (Artemis), Kikumaru Eiji (Hermes), Kawamura Takashi (Hephaestus), Niou Masaharu (Eris)

**Ch. 2 -** Sakaki Tarou (first human), Hanamura Aoi (Pandora)

**Ch. 4 -** Tachibana Kippei (Demeter), Shishido Ryou (Persephone), Sengoku Kiyosumi (Dionysus)

**Ch. 5 -** Yamato Yuudai (Father Time), Ibu Shinji (Charon), Minami Kentarou (Rhadamanthus), Higashikata Masami (Aeacus), Muromachi Touji (Minos), Akutagawa Jirou (Somnus)

**Ch. 6 -** Akazawa Yoshirou (Aelous)


	9. Winter

**Chapter VIII.**

**Winter**

* * *

The Rainbow God's arrival in the Underworld always caused commotion. After all it's not every day that the Underworld is filled with bright, lively colors.

Iris cautiously made his way, knowing danger lurked everywhere. The fact that the only weapon he has in hand was a puny Ares plushie doll didn't soothe Iris' nerves at all. He glared at the plushie. "Damn Akaya..."

He poked it, and the plushie emitted an evil chuckle. "I'll crush you! Aheeeheehee!!"

"Now...Where to the throne room?" he muttered, looking around. Then, he grinned. "Ah! Cerberus-chan!"

A great big three-headed dog looked up from mauling his plaything, gave a cheerful bark and bounded over the Rainbow God.

"Missed me much?" Marui chuckled, petting the dog's heads. "Got something for you." He took out a gigantic slice of strawberry cake (from his breakfast). "Here you go!"

After fondly watching the dog eat the cake, he took off again. Finally, he reached a crossroad. He landed and studied the signs.

"East is the Elysium West would be Tartarus, wouldn't want to go there; northeast would be Erebus, Realm of Sleep; most definitely wouldn't want to go there." He shuddered. "North is the Judgment hall," Marui paused. "This trip's downright peaceful. It's suspicious... Eh, whatever. Yosh! North it is."

So the Rainbow God went on his merry way, not noticing the smirking god who materialized by the crossroad and casually flipped the signs back into its proper place.

"Puri."

* * *

Somnus jerked from his peaceful slumber, eyes alight and a face-splitting grin on his face. "My Marui senses are tingling!"

* * *

"By the power Zeus vested on me, I command you to STOP!" Hermes cried out, holding a palm up. "Nya!"

The Earth gods stared at the messenger for three seconds before stepping around him and moving on.

"Hoi? Ah, wait up!" Eiji cried, following the three, and tripping on his own feet. "Ow. Wait! You're not allowed to go on, nya!"

"What do you mean?" Akazawa asked.

"Zeus' orders, nya!" Eiji replied, floating up. He looked around, but only Akazawa was there. "Where's Dionysus and Demeter?"

"Tachibana and Sengoku said they would be going on first," Akazawa answered, looking at the tiny orange-haired figure waving in the distance. "So, what were you saying?"

"Orders are to keep Tachibana from reaching Underworld. Marui has already gone to fetch Shishido," Eiji answered. "And also, the three of you are called in for judgment for neglecting your duties as the Gods of Corn, Wine and Wind respectively. There had been no crops, no vines and even a change of weather for the last year! One part of the Earth is all dried up while the other side is frozen! You three have a lot to answer for!"

In the search for Shishido, the three of them did forget their jobs. And apparently, when the three of them slacked off, it's a disaster of epic proportions.

The God of Wind winced. "Oops."

* * *

"--So you need to go back to your dad, Persephone," Marui finished, twitching.

"Oh no! So that's why there's an increase of souls here," said Ootori. "Shishido-san, you'd better go back to Earth."

"No way in Tartarus." Shishido crossed his arms.

"But, Shishido-san, your father must be worried sick for you. You are his only son after all," Ootori said sadly. "He must have been searching high and low for you to completely forget his job."

Shishido grimaced. "Uh, yeah, I can imagine that."

"Won't you go back to assure him, Shishido-san?" Ootori pleaded.

"Che, how lame. Fine. I'll go back. You can't wait to get rid of me anyway," Sishido muttered.

Ootori gasped. "That's not what I meant, Shishido-san! I like having you around!"

"Don't lie to me, Choutarou! It's alright. I'll be on my way, then." Shishido said, turning away.

"This this is so touching," Yamato said, wiping the corner of his eye. "I'm a sucker for dramatic scenes like this."

"It's like watching a tragic play," Minami said, awed, passing a box of tissue to a sniffling Higashikata beside him.

Muromachi simply continued his Judgments. "I don't understand what's all the fuss about. Niou made Shishido eat those pomegranate seeds right? So he's bound to return here even if he did leave now."

"Really?!" Demanded everyone, including Niou.

Muromachi shrugged. "I saw him nicking the seeds in the pantry last coffee break."

Everyone stared at the Trickster, who held up his hands to show his innocence.

"Hey, how am I supposed to know those were pomegranate seeds? I thought they were bird feeds," Niou protested.

Ootori barely held Shishido as the shorter god tried to jump on Niou. "Shishido-san! It's alright! You'll be able to come here every four months and be with your dad for the rest of the year. I think it works just fine like that."

Shishido stopped struggling. "I guess so."

"Are you done?" Marui demanded impatiently. "I don't know about the lot of you, but I have lot of work to do."

"More like food to eat, eh, Sparkly? It's past lunchtime. With all that color and sparkle you emit, you must be starving," Niou sneered.

"Shut up! It's your fault I arrived later than scheduled!" Marui shrieked (in a manly way). It's a well known fact that Iris' temper is incredibly short when he's hungry. "Then you have to go and send me to Erebus, of all places! I have to deal with---ARGGHHH!! DID YOU JUST BITE ME?!"

Jirou looked up to his idol, eyes shining. "Sugee! Are you talking about me, Marui?"

Marui was momentarily blinded by the sparkles. "Yes. Can you please let go of my shoulder?"

"UWAAH!! You're so cool Marui!" Jirou thrilled, glomping him more tightly.

"Why don't you use that?" asked Niou, pointing at the Ares plushie hanging limp at Marui's pocket.

"I did," Marui deadpanned. "It's impressive that a plushie could summon the bloody God of War himself, but it's pretty much useless if said god is scared of dead people."

A strangled noise was heard. Kirihara, tied and gagged in one corner, grunted indignantly, bloodshot eyes darting accusingly at Niou, who was sniggering.

Shishido straightened up. "I'll leave for now, Choutarou."

"Make it soon, before my shoulder gets gnawed from my body," Marui interrupted, trying to pry Jirou who was happily chomping on his shoulder.

"I'll be waiting for you to come back, Shishido-san," Ootori said devotedly.

Shishido nodded, but didn't move.

"Ne, Marui, we should say goodbye like that!" Jirou said excitedly, pointing at Ootori and Shishido who were still looking at each other.

"Uh, no," Marui said. He glared at Shishido. "You coming or what?"

"Goodbye, Choutarou. Be strong," Shishido said gruffly, walking away.

"Shishido-san," Ootori muttered tearfully.

Silence fell after Shishido and Marui (and Jirou too, since he was still chomping on Marui's shoulder) left the hall. If one doesn't count the muffled cries of a certain War God in one corner, which everyone ultimately ignored.

A spirit appeared from the wall next to Kirihara's head and blew on his ear. The War God gave another muffled shriek and fainted.

* * *

Sengoku, Akazawa and Eiji stared.

"That's stupid," Akazawa said finally.

"Are you drunk, Tachibana? I don't remember giving you a shot..." Sengoku said, sniffing the other god. "Hey, you smell like oranges!"

"Nya, I don't like this," Eiji whimpered.

The three are currently staring at Tachibana who was digging nearby.

"Wait for me, Ryou Dad's coming to save you," Tachibana muttered as he continued digging.

"Tachibana, that's not the way to the Underworld," Akazawa said for the nth time.

"Actually, it is," Sengoku said thoughtfully. "Underworld is under ground, right? So if we dig, we'll reach it eventually. It's probably the best idea we've come up with so far!"

Akazawa glared at Sengoku. "You're not helping."

"Well, it wasn't my idea to head to the Underworld without knowing how to get there," Sengoku retorted, crossing his arms.

"Well, it wasn't my son who'd been kidnapped," Akazawa snapped.

"Well, it wasn't my fault Phoney-chan got kidnapped," Sengoku answered back.

"Well it wasn't--"Akazawa paused. "Actually, it's your fault since Shishido wouldn't have gotten kidnapped had you and Tachibana been conscious at the time."

Sengoku blinked. "That's true."

"Ha!" Akazawa said triumphantly. "So this is your fault!"

"No, it isn't!"

"Yes, it is."

"NO!"

"YES!"

"STOP IT!" Eiji cried out stepping between the God of Wine and Wind. "Oishi says that fighting will solve nothing! We can always talk things out, nya!"

"Oishi? He just bakes cookies that look ugly," Akazawa said.

"Remember that time when he gave as a basket each and waited until we finished it?" Sengoku said, blanching. "It's like eating moss-covered rock."

Eiji was offended. He and Oishi were, after all the Golden Pair in some other universe. "Hey! Don't talk about Oishi like that!"

While the three are busy arguing, Tachibana was still digging. He ignored the various junk as he plowed through the earth which includes treasure chests, a mole, fist-sized diamonds, dinosaur bones, an army of earthworms, a piece of gold paper which says 'Congratulations! You just won a trip to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory!' and other random stuff.

Just then, the ground opened up. A burst of colors exploded in the air, blinding him momentarily.

"What the heck? I know you're a freakin' Earth god, but do you really have to stuff your face in it?"

Tachibana gaped. "R-ryou?"

There stood Shishido, arms crossed and scowling (so lovingly, Tachibana thought) at him. Tachibana threw himself at his son, enveloping the Spring God in a tight hug, and wailed. "RYOU!! I WAS SO WORRIED!"

Shishido twitched. "I can see that. Get off me! You're totally ruining your manly image. So not cool!"

Tachibana only continued crying.

Marui, who had left the father and son reunion, tapped Eiji. "Oi, we're done, right? Let's go back. I'm starving."

Eiji looked at him, upset. "They insulted Oishi!"

Marui shrugged. "Not my problem. Well, I'll be going on first. My shoulders are aching like mad..."

Eiji blinked. "Why is Somnus chomping your shoulder?"

"Oh, him?" Marui sighed, prodding the blonde with a finger. "He fell asleep like that. If I pry him off, I'll be prying my shoulder off as well."

Just then, the heavens opened with a bright light, sweet-smelling white fog and a choir of singing birds, catching everyone's attention. That only meant one thing: A god was descending from Olympus. That god emerged from the fog, coughing.

"The fog's too thick! I'll have the fog machine checked this week. Someone might stumble and break his neck in it!" Hestia, God of the Hearth, and the divine Mother-hen, emerged into view.

"OISHI!" Eiji shouted happily, bounding over to glomp him. "I missed you, nya!"

Oishi sweat-dropped. "We just ate breakfast together this morning, Eiji." He noticed the other gods. "Oh, hello there Dionysus, Aeolus! I brought your favorite cookies!"

The two mentioned gods paled.

"It's him," Akazawa muttered to Sengoku nervously.

"Hey, I think the south exit's clear. Lucky!" Sengoku whispered back. "On three. One."

Akazawa nodded. "Two."

The next instant, the two were gone.

Oishi looked sad. "Do they hate me that much?"

"Of course not! No one could hate you, Oishi!" Eiji exclaimed, hugging him.

Marui rolled his eyes. "I'm surrounded by drama queens," he said. But it came out as souning like "Arf chronched wif rafa twech."

"Hoi? Why are you eating Oishi's cookies?" Eiji demanded.

"What? I'm hungry!" Marui said, after swallowing. "And it's food, even if it does look like a moss-covered rock."

"I fail at life," Oishi sobbed.

"What're you doing here anyway?" The Rainbow God asked, shoving another cookie in his mouth.

Oishi stopped moping and gasped. "Oh, right! I'm here to talk to Demeter!"

"GET OFF ME, OYAJI!" Shishido practically roared, shoving his clinging dad away from his face. "Stop being lamer than usual!"

"B-but I missed you!" Tachibana said. "I was so worried when you got kidnapped and--"

"Who got kidnapped?" Shishido interrupted.

Tachibana blinked. "You are."

Shishido scowled. "Why would anyone kidnap me?"

"Well, you're such a cute child, and since you are my son--" Tachibana said fondly.

Shishido flushed. "Shut up! I wasn't kidnapped!"

"Hoi! Didn't Hades kidnap you?" Eiji asked.

"No! Why on Cronus' ass would he do that?" Shishido demanded. "I followed him to the Underworld!"

Everyone stared at him. "Huh?" they said intelligently.

"I met him in the fields, alright? We talked, but I forgot to take back my scissors from him, so I followed him," Shishido explained.

"Scissors?" Tachibana frowned. Then noticing his son's new haircut, he was aghast. "DID YOU CUT YOUR BEAUTIFUL HAIR!?"

Shishido twitched. "You just noticed that...? What's the big deal? It's just hair."

"NO! I CAN NEVER PRETEND TO HAVE A DAUGHTER INSTEAD!" Tachibana wept.

"THAT'S THE REASON WHY YOU TOLD ME TO KEEP IT LONG?" Shishido yelled indignantly. "THAT'S STUPID!"

"But, isn't Hades looking for a queen? There are flyers everywhere in Olympus. Didn't he kidnap you for that?" asked Oishi.

Shishido twitched, remembering his conversation with a certain God of Sleep. "How can I be a freakin' queen when I'm a freakin' guy?!"

There was a sound of choking nearby. Marui was chortling through his stuffed mouth. He swallowed with difficulty and chuckled.

"Could've fooled me. What with all the drama and the PMSing attitude that you have," Marui said.

"I don't want to hear that from you, pinky. At least I don't wear girly-colored clothes," Shishido retorted.

Everyone chuckled warmly as Marui's face matched the color of his hair.

"You try being the Rainbow God and the messenger of the only female god. This job is not fit for a tensai like me," Marui sulked.

"It's alright, Marui! You look sugoi in those colors anyway!" Jirou chirped, beaming at him from his shoulder.

"Really? You mean my genius shines even through this horrible garb?" Marui demanded.

"YEP! You're as cool as ever!" Jirou exclaimed.

"YAY!" Marui said happily. Yeah, his mood swings are unpredictable as always.

"Anyway, I need to speak to you Tachibana," Oishi said.

Tachibana, who by now had managed to collect the fragments of his masculinity, looked more like normal self. He regarded Oishi politely.

"I guess this is about the Earth that I abandoned in search for my son," Tachibana stated.

"Yes. Well, Zeus asks that you sort out the problem immediately," Oishi said.

"I see. But they didn't even help me when I was searching for Shishido. Why would I help them now?" Tachibana said, feeling righteous anger inside him.

"Think of the humans, Tachibana. By the crops that you provide alone can they survive in this harsh world! Can't you feel their suffering?" Oishi said, gesturing dramatically.

"I have suffered much, and so will they! Those who had turned blind eyes in my need, so will I turn blindly away from theirs," Tachibana declared, looking up to the sky passionately.

"Oh no! They're SO getting into it, nya!" Eiji said, alarmed.

"Can I just kill myself?" Shishido deadpanned.

"I hate drama," Marui said, in between bites of cookie.

In the end, Oishi had to drop to his knees and shake his fists to the heavens. "If only the Fates have been less cruel, none of this might have happened!" he cried.

Tachibana, who by now has tears from the corners of his eyes, slowly closed his eyes. He lost. When you drop to your knees and shake your fist to the heavens, you technically win at drama wars. (1)

"I understand. I can't ignore the humans suffering for long," Tachibana said.

"Thank you, Demeter," Oishi said gratefully. He blinked. "Er... Eiji? Could you help me up? I think my joints got stuck..."

* * *

_A year later._

Shishido glared. "NO."

"Ryou..." Tachibana said patiently.

"I didn't agree to this!" the Spring God protested.

"You did," said Tachibana. He brought out an audio recorder. "You promised to do it without complaints."

Shishido twitched. "I was drunk! I didn't know what I was saying!"

"That was just a shot glass, Ryou," Tachibana reminded.

"So? It's my first time," said Shishido indignantly. "And that blasted Dionysus gave me his strongest!"

"Ah, well. That's tradition," Tachibana nodded. "Every god must drink Dionysus' special brew when they reach the legal age."

"No, it isn't. He just made that up to see us throw up," Shishido said grumpily. Then he smirked. "He did say your first time was more humiliating than mine, though. Did you really run naked through Olympus with a sign board 'KORNZ R FRENDZ, NOT FUD!'?"

Tachibana blinked, before his left eye twitched rather violently. "I rather be not reminded of that time."

"Is that why you haven't visited Olympus for three thousand years now?" Shishido grinned.

"Yes," replied Tachibana, deadpan.

Shishido sniggered. "And everyone saw you? Even you, Choutarou?"

The Lord of the Dead, who had been quietly watching the father-son exchange, stuttered as the Earth god's Glare of Doom was directed to him. "U-um, I think I remember that time."

"You kept photos, right? You gotta show that to me sometime," Shishido chuckled. "Someone's got to send pictures in the _Olympian Times_' blind item section."

"Ryou..." Tachibana drew himself to his fullest height and commanded ominously. "Drop it."

Shishido simply laughed outright on his face.

"Shishido-san, I think you should get going now," Ootori said, trying to stifle his own laughter, lest the God of Corn gets all pissed off at him. "You did say you're going to hunt Dionysus."

"Right. That guy's going down!" Shishido declared, walking away. "C'mon, Oyaji. Before that creep hides in the Ocean again. I don't get why Poseidon tolerates that guy..."

Tachibana didn't move. Instead, he faced Ootori.

"I still can't forgive you for the fright I suffered when I thought I lost my son. But," he paused, looking at Shishido who was arguing with Charon the Boatman (who had asked for Tachibana's autograph earlier after a lengthy explanation that he was a fan). "Seeing him right now, I think he is at his happiest when he's with you."

Ootori looked sad. "I didn't mean to take him away, Tachibana-san."

Tachibana regarded him carefully, before smiling kindly. "I meant that in a good way. Since he's my son, his happiness comes first." He bowed. "Thank you, Hades-san."

Ootori was flustered. "I-it's nothing, Tachibana-san. I'll take good care of him, I promise."

Tachibana nodded gratefully.

"Oi! Oyaji! Let's go!" Shishido yelled impatiently. "I still have a Wine God to beat up!"

The father and son boarded Charon's boat.

"This is a happy day. Imagine my surprise when Tachibana-san appeared and asked for a ride in my boat. I'm so happy that I'm about to cry. But of course, I can't do that because it will be embarrassing, also with Hades-san here. I'll cry later during my coffee break, which I hope no one would disturb. It's lucky that Eris-san, that Trickster, is off to Olympus. Maybe he shan't disturb me when I fanboy over Tachibana-san's autograph... I could ask Jirou-san for advice for proper fanboying but I think he's sleeping right now--" Shinji mumbled as the boat left the bank.

Shishido tuned out the boatman's mumblings (which held his dad's attention and amusement) and was staring off at the far away bank where a silver-haired deity still stood.

"OI! CHOUTAROU!" he yelled suddenly.

Startled (as bats and other spirits were jolted from the noise), Ootori blinked.

Shishido smiled as they crossed from the Underworld to the Land of Living. "See you next Winter."

Ootori blinked again. Then he smiled warmly. "Yes, Shishido-san."

.

* * *

**Characters so far (in order of names' appearance:**  
**Prologue -** Ryuzaki Sumire (Hera), Nanjiroh Echizen (Zeus), Inui Sadaharu (Prometheus), Akutsu Jin (Poseidon), Dan Taichi (Triton), Ootori Choutarou (Hades), Fuji Syusuke (Aphrodite), Fuji Yuuta (Eros), Oishi Shuichirou (Hestia)

**Ch. 1 -** Kirihara Akaya (Ares), Oshitari Yuushi (Athena), Atobe Keigo (Apollo), Kaidoh Kaoru (Artemis), Kikumaru Eiji (Hermes), Kawamura Takashi (Hephaestus), Niou Masaharu (Eris)

**Ch. 2 -** Sakaki Tarou (first human), Hanamura Aoi (Pandora)

**Ch. 4 -** Tachibana Kippei (Demeter), Shishido Ryou (Persephone), Sengoku Kiyosumi (Dionysus)

**Ch. 5 -** Yamato Yuudai (Father Time), Ibu Shinji (Charon), Minami Kentarou (Rhadamanthus), Higashikata Masami (Aeacus), Muromachi Touji (Minos), Akutagawa Jirou (Somnus)

**Ch. 6 -** Akazawa Yoshirou (Aelous)


End file.
